The mother of a teenage girl who was sexually violated by a 40-year-old man in his van "bargained with God" to help save her life in the aftermath. Photo / 123RF
The mother of a teenage girl who was sexually violated by a 40-year-old man in his van "bargained with God" to help save her life in the aftermath. Photo / 123RF
Warning: This story discusses sexual assault
A mother says she bargained with God to save her teenager’s life in the aftermath of a sexual assault that was almost the undoing of her already vulnerable daughter.
Her daughter was one of three girls Kurt James Balemi met outside a toilet block in central Nelson in September 2021.
The then 40-year-old coaxed them into a van he lived in where he indecently assaulted them, gave two of them LSD and sexually violated one of the girls. A jury acquitted him on more serious charges at his trial in July.
The indecent assaults were a prelude to the sexual violation in that Balemi was “testing the water” for his gratification, Judge Mark Callaghan said.
Balemi appeared for sentencing in the Nelson District Court via video link from the Christchurch court. Photo / George Heard
The defence argued Balemi’s denial was embedded in his ADHD and Asperger’s syndrome which made him susceptible to misreading social cues.
Judge Callaghan told the Nelson District Court today via video link from the Christchurch court that several underlying factors led to the vulnerability of the complainants who were young and experimenting with alcohol and drugs.
The victim’s mother described Balemi in a victim impact statement she read in court as a “danger to society”.
She said the time since the offending until now had been “three long harrowing years”, and her “already shell of a daughter” was only now piecing together her life.
She said the offending had had a lasting effect on the wider family who had been exposed to the emotional trauma suffered by her daughter afterwards.
“We have missed important events of our other children as we have had to remain vigilant.
“I bargained with God to save her life,” she said.
The Crown submitted that Balemi’s actions were premeditated and that the meeting between him and the three teenage girls was not by chance.
“There was clear, predatory sexual behaviour,” prosecutor Daniel Baxter said.
The judge disagreed and said Balemi simply took advantage of the situation.
Baxter said the teenagers, one of whom was aged 15, were outside a toilet block near Nelson Cathedral on the evening of September 14, 2021, when Balemi coaxed them into his van. He provided LSD, wanted naked photos from one of the teens, rubbed CBD oil into another and then took steps to get the main victim alone, knowing she had pre-existing mental health struggles.
The sexual violation against the main victim occurred when the other two got out of the van, briefly, to head to a nearby takeaway outlet.
The victims had been drinking alcohol and smoking cannabis outside the toilet block before Balemi approached, asked if they were trying to roll cannabis and offered to help if they accompanied him in his van.
They all then smoked, drank and talked before Balemi began talking about the dating app Tinder and how he wanted to “get a girlfriend to sleep with” but didn’t know “how to work it”.
After the two had left the van, Balemi began touching the main victim inappropriately. She then said she had to use the bathroom “urgently”.
The other two teens returned and they all got back in the van when talk began of harder drugs. Two of them shared an LSD tablet, at which point the main victim’s anxiety worsened and she was offered Valium, but asked what she was prepared to do to get it.
She offered to show nude photos she had on her phone.
The other two got back out of the van and Balemi told the victim she would “have to do more” if she wanted Valium.
The evidence was that after the other two left, Balemi pushed the victim into sexual activity after rubbing CBD oil on her legs so he could manipulate her.
“She was 16 at the time and he was 40,” Baxter said of Balemi who had also continued to blame the victims and the police for his predicament.
Balemi’s not-guilty pleas and subsequent trial, at which he was convicted on some charges, triggered an unravelling of the main victim, her mother said.
“All because of you, as you were too selfish to own up to your crimes,” she said.
Defence lawyer Rob Harrison said Balemi’s actions were the result of delayed treatment for a brain injury suffered in a car accident in 2017, his ADHD condition and Asperger’s syndrome.
Harrison said Balemi was driven by his injuries and personal circumstances into a state of isolation and disengagement.
He was not trying to downplay the impact on the victims, but believed the Crown was trying to “artificially inflate” matters in its citing case law he didn’t think was comparable.
Judge Callaghan said while the outcome might not be enough to satisfy the victim that justice had been done, the court had a duty to consider several matters.
“But don’t take that to mean I do not understand or discount what you have read out today,” Judge Callaghan said.
From a starting point of three years and nine months in prison, Balemi was given discounts for his personal circumstances and time already served in custody and on electronic bail, to arrive at a three-year prison term on the lead charge, plus three months on the other charges to be served concurrently.
Registration as a child sex offender was automatic, Judge Callaghan said.
Tracy Neal is a Nelson-based Open Justice reporter at NZME. She was previously RNZ’s regional reporter in Nelson-Marlborough and has covered general news, including court and local government for the Nelson Mail.
