Emma Davies and David Semp: Parents' sexuality irrelevant to kids

Is there evidence that children of lesbian and gay parents are more likely to be abused, murdered, suffer depression, poverty and achieve lower educational standards than those raised by heterosexual parents? A systematic search of international scientific databases reveals there is not.

So why do the Mayor of Auckland, Dick Hubbard, and other esteemed community leaders apparently assert otherwise? Perhaps Weekend Herald columnist John Roughan identified one key when he bravely articulated his homophobia and repulsion of male homosexuality. Powerful gut reactions are hard to counter with research evidence.

People opposed to homosexuality are likely to find it hard to accept the validity of evidence that contradicts their world view. This reflects the well-documented psychological phenomenon - cognitive dissonance.

A discrepancy between two inconsistent thoughts produces emotional distress. So we are motivated to reduce this conflict by changing one of these thoughts - dismiss the evidence.

What is the evidence that must be ignored to avoid this uncomfortable feeling? It is the growing body of scientific literature documenting that children who grow up with gay and lesbian parents do just as well in emotional, cognitive, social and sexual functioning as those brought up with heterosexual parents.

What is the impact on children of homosexual parents compared to heterosexual parents? One meta-analysis was published in 1996. A meta-analysis is a systematic, statistical method for synthesising the results from numerous studies to find out whether a particular factor has an overall effect on behaviour.

The results demonstrate no differences on any measures between heterosexual and homosexual parents regarding parenting styles, children's emotional wellbeing and sexual orientation of the children. The information is the same regardless of whether it comes from children, teachers or parents.

Susan Golombok and colleagues at City University in London have conducted a sophisticated long-term study of children with lesbian parents. They recruited 74 heterosexual two-parent families, 60 heterosexual-mother families and 39 lesbian-mother families from a well-sampled study of 14,000 parents and children. They have consistently found positive mother-child relationships and well-adjusted children with lesbian parents.

In an article published this year in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, Golombok and Maccallum conclude from one part of the study that there is no evidence for a mother's sexual orientation influencing parent-child interactions or the socio-emotional development of children. A systematic review of studies in 2002 came to a similar conclusion.

Likewise, a few studies, albeit with small numbers and less sophisticated methodologies, indicate that children of gay fathers are no more likely to have learning or behavioural difficulties than other children. They also seem no more likely to be homosexual in adulthood than children with heterosexual fathers.

There is some evidence indicating that lesbian and gay couples share child-rearing, household tasks and decision-making more equally than heterosexual couples. So it is no surprise that children of gay and lesbian parents appear to develop a broader range of social roles and skills. Additionally, perhaps, where power within families is shared more equally the chances of domestic violence are reduced.

Debates will continue about whether there are clear distinctions between mothering and fathering beyond childbirth and breastfeeding. Men and women share traits to various degrees that are traditionally perceived as absolutely male or female.

Despite fears to the contrary, children raised in lesbian or gay households may well have opportunities to engage in rough-and-tumble play traditionally associated with dad, and get the kisses on grazed knees traditionally associated with mum. One study also found that most lesbian couples ensure their children have male role models in their lives.

It is not the sexual orientation of parents that matters to childhood outcomes. Far more important is the quality of relationships between adults, and between parents and children. All rigorous research indicates not just that same-sex parents are as good at parenting as heterosexual parents; in some cases they have been shown to be better.

One only need do a quick search in databases of prestigious scientific peer-reviewed journals such as Pediatrics and Developmental Psychology to find that children's development is less influenced by a particular family form than by the nature of our relationships and interactions within families.

Family conflict, poverty and social isolation are better predictors of poor outcomes for children than family structure.

When children are asked about their experiences of being raised by same-sex parents, the only disadvantage they mention is the stigma that comes from outside their families. Lack of social acceptance of families with gay and lesbian parents is more important than parents' sexuality.

Prejudice and negative stereotypes of homosexual parents mean that some of these families, including the children, face ostracism and social isolation within their local community.

Some adults still choose to keep their sexuality secret from school, family and many within the community because they fear the consequences for their children. Anti-homosexual discrimination is still alive and well.

It is encouraging that the Mayor of Auckland and other community leaders recognise the need to improve outcomes for children. If this is the goal, it would be more constructive to focus attention on practical ways to reduce social isolation, violence towards children and child poverty. If we look at the steep social class gradient in children's health, every observational study shows that money "works".

Keeping focused on improving outcomes for children requires an emphasis on the start to life. The message from research that the time to make the greatest difference is in the early years is clear. Although it is never too late to make a difference, sooner is better in terms of both results and cost-effectiveness.

The best interests of children lie with loving, respectful families connected to one another and to wider community networks. There are many different types of families capable of providing the love, respect, guidance and protection that children need. Regardless of the type of family, what makes the difference is how much support our society provides to each of them.

For children of lesbian and gay parents, the evidence suggests that their parents' sexual orientation will not harm them. But social isolation resulting from anti-homosexual discrimination can.

Therefore, children of lesbian and gay parents are best served by civic leaders who promote social respect and acceptance for all loving and nurturing families.

* Emma Davies is a programme leader (families and children) at the Auckland University of Technology's Institute of Public Policy and David Semp is a registered Auckland psychologist.