Cricket: Let's blame it on Duckworth Lewis

PATRICK GOWER joined the meagre crowds at Hamilton's WestpacTrust Stadium on Thursday for another thrilling one-day cricket international.

1st over, NZ 0/0: New Zealand loses toss and is sent in to bat. Sri Lankan flag-wavers outnumber New Zealanders by 10 to 1. That is, there are 10 Sri Lankan flags and one from New Zealand. The only New Zealanders dressed in uniform at the ground are the police.

2nd over, NZ 2 without loss: "Sombrero Man" has waited patiently since 10 am for the game to start. Delays caused by rain mean it has begun at 3 pm. Do the Black Caps have a chance, then? "They've always got a chance," he says. "But I will be the first to ring talkback and bitch about them if they lose."

4th over, NZ 6/1: I do a quick head count to make sure there are not more Sri Lankans at the ground than there are New Zealand supporters. The call is too marginal to make right now.

They are chanting "Soysa, Soysa, Soysa ... " Says one: "It's a bit like chanting 'Hadlee, Hadlee, Hadlee'." But Sir Richard's name is unlikely to be heard in that vein here today.

16th Over, NZ 71/2: Fleming is looking good. Crowd is referring to him as "Flem" and even "the Flematrator." Only Gavin Bax lets the side down with a laddered pair of stockings and a sign that says: "These pantyhose have more runs than Fleming."

16th over, NZ 72/2: Sri Lankan supporter Anil Seneviratne, now of Auckland, is tackled after dancing around. "I do not mind, because he warned me that if I kept dancing around and we kept getting wickets he would tackle me. Anyway, I love rugby and I love New Zealand." His tackler, 21-year-old local Mark Wotherspoon, is more circumspect.

"I will only give my name if this reflects in a positive light on one-day cricket crowds," he says. Both men shake hands.

23rd over, NZ 109/3: Matthew Thompson, 19, is dressed in a Santa suit. He is part of a newly arrived group that refer to themselves as "the Anti-Auckland Santas." They are giving Soysa as much flak as the support he has received.

28th over, NZ 129/5: Fleming is dismissed for 66. A group of fourth-form students from Melville High are emphatic: "If he wasn't captain, he would be out of the team."

Why are they here then? "To watch Jayasuriya bat, and if it wasn't raining we would have got a day off school."

35th over, NZ 182/9: While the crowd has picked up for the entrance of one-day stalwart Chris Harris and hometown hero Daniel Vettori, a slow last over brings enough silence to hear the buzz of radio sport from small transistor radios. New Zealand's innings ends in a fizzle.

Sri Lanka in to bat: The openers immediately begin flaying fours and sixes. Random calls of "howzat!" from crowd do not sway match officials. Crowd lets out huge roar when one of its members takes catch and scores himself a big cash prize.

4th over, SL 11/0: Girl in front of me creates makeshift bed with rug. "Wake me up when it gets exciting," she says. It is 6.30 pm. Smell of marijuana is in the air. May or may not be coming from Black Caps' dressing room.

10th over, SL 82/1: Anti-Auckland Santas do lap of honour with stolen Sri Lankan flag. Some crowd members - but not many - cheer. Spirit in crowd is not good: "I knew it was over when we lost the toss," says one.

14th over, SL 97/2: Some Anti-Auckland Santas are taken away by police following a nasty incident when a crowd member took exception to a "little bit of flounder throwing." Anti-Auckland Santas made a cowardly attack on him.

20th over, SL 128/2. Most action appears to be in the hotdog queue, where there is a gi-normous line, or the men's toilets, where, for some reason, two security guards are now permanently stationed. New Zealand cricket merchandise caravan is empty.

23rd over, SL 134/3: Slow death of game confirmed when ground announcer begins pointing out exits ready for the "conclusion of play."

30th over, 153/5: Well we never. Two wickets and a great spell by Tuffey leaves the game slightly in the balance. We all settle in for a tight ending.

31st over, 153/5: Game abandoned because of bad light. Crowd is blissfully unaware of the permutations of the Duckworth Lewis system designed to find the winner in a shortened match. Graham Norman, of Hamilton, declares it an "absolute disgrace".

"We were sitting on the bank and didn't even hear what the result was. I would love a refund and I deserve a refund. I spent all day here for nothing; no result, no nothing."

The Duckworth Lewis method gives Sri Lanka the game by three runs. They lead the series four-nil, with the final game on Sunday in Christchurch.

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