Couples lacking quality time as work encroaches

Working couples are not spending enough time together according to a study published this week.

The report, which quizzed 1,074 working and co-habiting adults in Britain, found more than a fifth of couples are so busy with work that they can go a week without seeing each other.

People are also more likely to work nine until eight than nine to five and then spend at least two hours in separate rooms when they do have a rare evening in, the study's author Dr Roger Henderson found.

A change in habits was crucial for relationships said Dr Henderson: "It is vital for people to recapture the evening and create a calm hour with their partner before dinner.

"It could be the difference between turning an existence into a life and, for some, it could even be a relationship lifesaver."

The survey, for the At Home Society, found 21 per cent of people are too busy to see their partner during the week.

But Dr Henderson said even those who do have an evening together do not make the most of their time, with 46 per cent of couples surveyed spending two hours each night in separate rooms.

The study found that the first "critical" hour after work is more likely to be filled with household chores, talking on the phone or looking after children than catching up with partners.

Many couples were also too exhausted to do anything but slump in front of the television at night. Some 42 per cent of those questioned preferred to watch TV after work.

The pressures of life are now so intense that although 65 per cent of couples acknowledge that more time in the evenings would help their relationship, only 24 per cent said they get home to see their partners each week.

"We are living in a world where the pace of life gets faster and faster. Many of us seem to have forgotten that the home is not simply a place to rush around and do tasks in. The home should also be a nest; a place to unwind and relax in."

Other tips to reclaiming your evening include changing out of work clothes when you get home, ignoring the dusting and stopping work "polluting" your life out of office hours.

Paula Hall, a relationship psychotherapist, said: "It is sadly a reality of the way we live our lives. Most people focus on what is urgent rather than the important things.

"A lot of couples do not see each other all week due to their jobs. One of the most common difficulties for couples is how they wind down after a day at work. Some people need to be on their own and some need to chat.

"I would advise working couples to set aside time each week to spend together. It is easier to allocate this time than wait until the weekend or the end of the month. You have got to be able to recognise that your relationship needs time."

- INDEPENDENT