A teen received “negative and abusive” messages through online platforms, including Instagram, before he took his own life.
WARNING: This story discusses suicide
A coroner has highlighted the “far-reaching, longstanding and devastating” effects of negative online activity after a teen receiving abusive messages took his own life.
In findings made public today, Coroner Ian Telford found the teen had continued to receive online abuse relating to a “highly regrettable” online incident he was involved in at high school, and that those ongoing stressors caused him chronic distress and contributed to his suicide.
On the evening of May 31, 2022, the teen, whose name and identifying details have been suppressed, was using his computer in his room when his father checked on him and said goodnight. This was the last time he was seen alive.
The following morning, his father went into his son’s room and, after finding he was not there as expected, he went to look for him.
He found him outside. Emergency services were called and a paramedic declared the teen dead shortly after.
Coroner Telford concluded his death was by suicide.
According to the findings, made in chambers, the teen was reportedly physically healthy and had no known history of mental health issues or self-harm.
His best friend told the inquiry that the teen was generally happy, always making jokes and caring for others, and his former girlfriend described him as talented, kind and polite.
The couple’s relationship had come to an end about a month before his death and, according to the findings, there were “ongoing relational difficulties” between the two in the time that followed.
While the teen wanted to continue the relationship, she did not.
She told the inquiry that shortly before he died, he told her that he was not doing well. He said he felt his behaviour was “destructive” and that his drinking had become problematic, she reported.
Family and friends stated that he seemed fine but did appear to be struggling to come to terms with the end of his relationship.
He had been drinking more and around this time was involved in a car accident which resulted in his car being badly damaged.
His ex-girlfriend told the inquiry that during their relationship the teen continuously received “negative and abusive” messages through online platforms, including Instagram, relating to an incident he had been involved in while at high school.
She said he expressed extreme regret for his part in this incident and continued to carry a lot of guilt from it. The messages “really got to him,” she told the inquiry.
Additionally, in her view, his use of online pornography had become increasingly problematic and she reported he had confided that he believed he had a pornography addiction.
She also revealed he had previously attempted to harm himself when his feelings for a different girl were not reciprocated.
In his findings, Coroner Telford said it was not possible to know precisely why the teen took the “drastic action” to end his own life and that suicide was usually a result of a complex range of factors.
He found the recent breakdown in the teen’s relationship, ongoing stressors relating to the incident he was involved with in high school, and his emerging addiction issues were likely to have played varying roles in his decision.
“I am of the view that this tragic loss of a young life provides yet another example of how online activity, when it goes wrong, can have far-reaching, longstanding and devastating effects on a person’s life,” the coroner wrote.
“In [the teen’s] case, his online-related problems started with his involvement in a highly regrettable online incident whilst he was still at school. I observe that he was very young at this stage and, by definition, relatively emotionally immature.
“It is clear that he was deeply sorry for his part in this matter and the guilt associated with his actions weighed heavily upon him.
“However, he continued to receive negative and abusive messages from people on online platforms – long after the event. I consider it likely that this led to [the teen] experiencing chronic distress and struggling to move beyond the incident and envisage a life free from the guilt associated with it.”
The coroner found that the teen’s concerns about his use of alcohol and online pornography further compounded his unhappiness and had a detrimental effect on his well-being.
“Overlaying all these issues is the fact that [the teen] was a young person, navigating the usual transitions and emotional issues associated with his stage of life. It is likely that his ability to navigate the considerable pressures discussed above was correspondingly limited.
“Sadly, it seems that ultimately, [the teen] became overwhelmed and lost hope. For reasons unknown, he did not feel able to reach out and seek help. This will undoubtedly be a source of great pain and sorrow for those who knew and loved him.”
Tara Shaskey joined NZME in 2022 as a news director and Open Justice reporter. She has been a reporter since 2014 and previously worked at Stuff covering crime and justice, arts and entertainment, and Māori issues.
'You don’t want to be doom and gloom your whole life. That's just a miserable way to live'