Welcome to Sex: Your no-silly-questions guide to sexuality, pleasure and figuring it out by Dr Melissa Kang and Yumi Stynes is being stocked in libraries around New Zealand.
Welcome to Sex: Your no-silly-questions guide to sexuality, pleasure and figuring it out by Dr Melissa Kang and Yumi Stynes is being stocked in libraries around New Zealand.
Warning: This article contains brief descriptions of sexual acts, which may offend some readers.
A controversial book about sex aimed at children is a “fabulous” resource and answers the questions kids are asking, a relationship and sexuality educator says.
The book, Welcome to Sex: Your no-silly-questions guide to sexuality, pleasure and figuring it out, by former Dolly Doctor and youth health expert Dr Melissa Kang and TV personality Yumi Stynes, is making waves after a library user complained on social media about its inclusion on the shelves.
The book, targeted at 11- to 14-year-olds, traverses everything from consent and sexuality to sexual positions.
Welcome to Sex has been labelled “disgusting” and inappropriate by some, but educator and University of Canterbury adjunct lecturer Tracy Clelland said most parents actually wanted a book like this to help them educate their children.
A Lower Hutt library-goer posted on Facebook last week complaining about the book’s inclusion on the shelves.
“Did the purchaser at Lower Hutt Library actually view the Welcome to Sex book that they’ve now purchased for the libraries? Were they taken in by the cutesy colour and juvenile illustrations of fruit and vegetables on the front cover?” the poster asked.
In a statement, Grant Publishing said it is proud to be the publisher of Welcome to Sex.
“Welcome to Sex was developed in response to genuine questions from adolescents about sex to Dolly Doctor over a twenty-year period, as well as comprehensive interviews with young people and adolescent experts about issues they are facing, particularly in an online world,” said Kate Brown, managing director of Hardie Grant Children’s Publishing.
“Every young person develops at their own rate, and parents and caregivers are encouraged to make their own decisions about what is appropriate to share with their family.”
Brown said the series has sold successfully worldwide and is designed to support parents as they navigate these conversations, as well as being a valuable, curated resource for young people.
“Buying this book is a positive choice for parents and teens who are looking for guidance on a subject of genuine importance,” Brown said.
“We have published it for an audience who want that option.”
University of Canterbury adjunct lecturer and sexuality educator Tracy Clelland. Photo / Corey Blackburn
One commenter on Facebook said the target audience wasn’t “even at the age of consent”, and while she normally agreed that being informed was good, she believed the book bordered on “grooming”.
Another commenter said it was “totally disgusting and disturbing” and was not appropriate for children.
Clelland said the book was not about instructing children on sex acts, but was about “information when a young person is ready”. She also said reading such details would “100 per cent” not influence children into having sex earlier.
Last year a 20-year meta-analysis of research in this space showed open lines of communication with children about sex decreased sexual violence and helped build healthy relationships.
Clelland said it was important to send the message that it was okay to talk about sex and ask questions.
“We do not want porn to be the default sexuality educator.”
Clelland and colleagues Dr Fabian Gilson and associate professor Adrian Clark have also released a new online platform to bridge the gaps in sexuality education for young New Zealanders.
Te Puāwaitanga covers many topics, including being in love for the first time, gender identity, breaking up, safer sex, boundaries, bodies, consent and healthy relationships, and was co-created with youth. It also contains a site for parents.
Libraries’ role ‘not that of censor’
The Library and Information Association of New Zealand Aotearoa (Lianza) said it was important for libraries to have an inclusive collection.
Welcome to Sex, a sex and sexuality education book targeted at teens, has caused some debate in Australia and the NZ Herald has asked for a response from the Lianza about it being part of New Zealand library collections.
The Lianza’s standing committee on freedom of information chairwoman, Louise LaHatte, said libraries will not remove books simply because it causes offence, if it has met their review process.
“We trust individuals to make their own decisions about what they read and believe,” LaHatte said.
“In situations such as in the case of Welcome to Sex, there may be disagreements over the content. However, libraries don’t make individual decisions for their readers about what is appropriate,” she said.
“In this case, libraries have reviewed and confirmed it is appropriate to have this book on their shelves.
“There have been good reviews from parents, particularly concerning some very sound advice about consent. And the author has stated that it is a useful resource book for parents to have discussions about sex with their children.”
If a member of the public believes an item should be restricted or banned, they can contact the Classification Office Te Mana Whakaatu, she said.
A Hutt City Council spokeswoman said it took all feedback about books in the libraries’ collections seriously and had reassessed Welcome to Sex.
“We support the view of the libraries’ professional body, Lianza, on this book and we will continue to have it in our collections.”
The book is also in libraries across the country, including in Auckland, Christchurch and Tauranga.
Christchurch City Council’s head of libraries and information, Carolyn Robertson, said their five copies of the book were in the young adult section.
“We believe this is appropriate as the book has been written for teens and provides accurate and clear information about this topic. The book is published by a mainstream publisher and has had good reviews internationally,” Robertson said.
“Christchurch City Libraries supports the right of children and young adults to choose their own material. The responsibility for their selection rests with their parents or legal guardians.”
Auckland Council head of library and learning services, Catherine Leonard, said selection of books on sensitive topics was “carefully considered”.
“Our role is not that of censor. We do not limit what people may choose to read but aim to provide broad and deep collections,” Leonard said.
“Auckland Libraries is, like all public libraries in New Zealand, committed to freedom of access of information and will not suppress or remove material simply because it gives offence to some people.”
Melissa Nightingale is a Wellington-based reporter who covers crime, justice and news in the capital. She joined the Herald in 2016 and has worked as a journalist for 10 years.
