The influx of royals to our shores in recent years is possibly proof the Queen knows Key's support is like a Shopping Channel promo: for a limited time. Unlike a monarch, Key will not reign over New Zealand for life. So, soon after the All Blacks arrived back yesterday, Prince Charles and Camilla landed in Wellington.
In theory, we should be more interested in Charles than his sons. He is, after all, next in line. But after the giddy highs of visits by William, Kate, George and the fun of Harry, the response to poor old Prince Charles is likely to be a polite yawn. The words "poor old" are prefixed to Charles' name so often it is almost part of his official title: His Royal Highness Poor Old Prince Charles. He is one of the hardest working and most underappreciated royals with the misfortune to be caught betwixt two more intriguing generations of royals - his mother and his sons.
In a letter in 1981 from Prince Charles to a friend, Charles moaned about New Zealanders teasing him for falling off a horse. What the Prince clearly did not realise was that taking the mickey was a sign of affection in New Zealand rather than scorn. His own sons were more attuned to that. They showed on their own visits that they themselves are masters at taking the mickey. Prince Harry even did it to All Black Jerome Kaino, calling him "poor little baby" over a sore finger.
In his letter, Charles added a rather ominous "it all increases my determination to make them laugh out the other side of their faces one day!" Quite what that veiled threat meant remains unclear 24 years on - perhaps a return to beheadings once he became king.
That might help explain why the monarchy has stepped up its visits to the Antipodes in recent years. Charles won't have a chance for his utu on New Zealand if he is never its king.
There has been open speculation in New Zealand and Australia about a move to republicanism once the Queen passes on. At the moment, the loyalty is tied to the Queen. The best way to transfer that loyalty to her successors is for those not-so-loyal subjects to feel they know the royal family personally. The best way to do that is to send them to the countries concerned. In 1981, Charles moaned about children constantly asking him what it was like to be a prince. Indulging those children is now the royals' most powerful weapon in its fight for survival around the Commonwealth.
But before saving the monarchy there is a shorter term fight on the royals' hands: saving the endangered Union Jack. Whether by coincidence or design, the first referendum on the flag will start soon after Charles and Camilla depart.
There are signs the "send forth and conquer" technique is working. Support for changing the flag has dropped significantly over the past decade. It is likely the efforts of the princes in New Zealand - in particular Prince William - have had a part in that.
These visits by walking billboards for the Union Jack have so far cost us about $2 million. If there was a spending limit on referendum advertising, the royals could find themselves getting a ticking off from the Electoral Commission.
