Claire Trevett: Cricket offers winning hand

Stephen Fleming and New Zealand Prime Minister John Key. Photo / Getty Images

Prime Minister John Key's sidekick Stephen Fleming might be a hit in India - but Mr Key's motorcades certainly aren't.

So the Prime Minister awoke yesterday morning to finally get the front page treatment he'd hoped for - a photo of Fleming and himself with cricket bat in hand on the front page of the India Express under a headline "Key-wi at the Kotla [Stadium]."

Less happily, the Times of India carried a story about the chaos Mr Key's motorcade had caused on roads around the stadium. It reported a standoff between motorists and police after roadblocks were set up five hours before the visit, blocking workers from their offices and families from hospitals.

Police blamed the traffic police and traffic police blamed the regular police. The Times called for some restraint from excessive security, even in "the terror-stricken times we live in".

Mr Key's visit is a state visit, so the motorcades are a necessity, but they leave lines of cars backed up along the roads leading to the main highways.

The roads are chaotic enough already. The sound of horns is a constant backdrop, more as a reminder that someone is alongside than in rage. Cyclists, tuk-tuks, mopeds, cars and trucks all jostle for the same place.

Happily insulated from such road rage, Mr Key was busy playing second fiddle to Fleming.

He felt his inferiority first when playing cricket with some students at the stadium. But the harsh reality of their relative merits was driven home at a New Zealand High Commission reception. Sari-clad women dutifully welcomed Mr Key by throwing petals at him and setting a mala - garland - around his neck before ushering him inside.

Then they spotted Fleming. Within seconds he was swallowed by a sea of fluttering pink, turquoise, and lime green silk saris. He greeted the cacophony of giggles, squeals and coos with a slightly embarrassed grin, and posed for photos before he was allowed to follow the Prime Minister.

"He's special!" one of the beaming woman gasped, when asked about her reaction.

A vainer man might decide that's just not cricket. But Mr Key surrendered to the might of Fleming, telling those gathered at the reception that he had now discovered the secret to obtaining the free trade agreement New Zealand wanted.

"The first thing I learned is that Stephen Fleming is very popular here. So popular that a few people mentioned to me that if I was prepared to get Stephen Fleming to not only coach the Chennai Super Kings for free but also give schoolchildren cricket lessons, that might help us complete the free trade agreement.

"So, Stephen, if you could let your family know you won't be home until 2021, that would be good."