Christmas lights came second.
Tamati Coffey's partner Tim provided a timely cautionary tale – he suffered a tree accident just days before when he was taken out by a ceiling fan while decorating, rooting his elbow.
Rounding out Lees-Galloway's line-up Christmas villains were Christmas presents, roast turkeys, and wine corks which last year managed to hurt eight people.
Despite their obvious dangers, Forestry Minister Shane Jones was charged with delivering the Christmas tree. He had one billion of them at his disposal, as well as his army of elves – his ne'er do well nephews from Kaikohe.
Jones is both sweet and sour, so he also delivered a bit of the Gremlins, threatening his rivals in National variously with a spray of the pathogens taking out the kauri or a bit of hemlock.
Labour was busy teaching the children to share their toys.
The children in question are the Greens and NZ First. Both were allowed to peek under the wrapper of their own presents during negotiations.
NZ First was allowed to peek under the wrapper of the Greens' presents - but the Greens were not allowed to look at NZ First's.
This week, they were allowed to open one present apiece.
The problem was that the governing arrangement has ensured whenever a present is doled out, the other child is given the batteries that make it work and has to be persuaded to hand them over.
They have to vote for each others' presents, unless National feels inclined to help out which it rarely does.
Labour had to ensure both NZ First and the Greens compromised to get their respective measures across the line.
NZ First's present was the waka jumping Bill, seen in some circles as the "Licence for Winston Peters to Sack MPs Bill".
It effectively means if an MP is expelled for breaching caucus rules, or revolts and tries to go off on his or her own, they have to leave Parliament as well so the party can replace them with one of its own candidates.
The Greens have to stomach it, despite disquiet that it will give a leader who takes a dislike to an MP because they slurp their tea the power to kick them out of Parliament.
The Greens were justifying the decision to support it by claiming credit for amendments such as a cooling off period of 21 days for the accused MP to respond and requiring a two-thirds vote of caucus to expel someone from caucus.
Then it was NZ First's turn to compromise over the Greens' medicinal marijuana bill.
That has been watered down to such an extent that the Green Party is keeping its preferred bill in the member's bill ballot box.
The reason for the diluted bill was the furthest they could push it to get the support to pass – from NZ First.
Perhaps they should have handed out some samples before they began the negotiations.
National's villain was still NZ First leader Winston Peters.
Unlike the traditional villains of Christmas tales, there was unlikely to be a road to Damascus conversion which would result in Peters suddenly wishing National peace and happiness. He was too busy demanding their phone logs.
Nick Smith was trying to tempt the Green Party with a present they weren't allowed to open – Smith's member's bill on the Kermadec Ocean Sanctuary, which technically could pass with support from National and the Greens.
NZ First had banned that by insisting Maori fishery interests had to be worked out first.
Bill English was making (and burning) the family Christmas cake.
Tim van de Molen came to work frocked out in a monstrosity of a Christmas suit.
Steven Joyce was trying to shed the Boy who Cried Wolf reputation he'd secured during the campaign over his repeated insistence of an $11.7 billion hole in Labour's books.
Desperate to prove himself right, this week in the spirit of Christmas he issued his own slightly less cheerful rendition of the 12 Days of Christmas.
It was called the 29 Fiscal Time Bombs. Have a holiday, Joyce. Please.
