Alicia Shaw is disgusted at the behaviour of some parents on the sideline as kids competed in a Christchurch primary school's cross-country race last week. Video / @curatedbyaliciamaria via TikTok
A Christchurch mum is calling out fellow parents for laughing at and making mocking comments towards primary school-aged children taking part in a cross-country race last week.
Alicia Shaw was supporting her sons – aged 6 and 8 – at the running event for their school on May 14 when she noticed the comments and behaviour of other parents on the sidelines.
“I’m so disgusted by the behaviour, the attitude of some of the parents there and what they said,” Shaw said in a video posted to her TikTok account.
“And bear in mind, my boys go to a Catholic school, they’re meant to be taught all these values... you’d think the parents sending them would have some of those values themselves. But they don’t.”
In the video – which has since been watched almost 9000 times – Shaw said comments were being made “left, right and centre”, with the worst coming as some Year 3 and 4 pupils were nearing the finish line.
“These are 7- to 8-year-olds. As the run goes on, there’s always a pack of kids at the back who are tired, who are running, walking in between, and they’re really buggered.
“At the very end... this dad, right by them, goes, ‘Oh, here comes the walking club’ and starts cracking up.”
Her focus was on supporting the kids “in a positive way”, otherwise she would’ve said something to the man, who had no idea how hard some of the children had trained for the race, Shaw said.
“Because how dare you come at children who are tired, they have been running their little hearts out and they’re children... [to] laugh at them, it’s really disgusting.”
Multiple children were walking past the man as he made the comment and many were exhausted and seemed upset, Shaw told the Herald.
“It was hard to tell if it was directly from hearing him or if it just added to an already exhausting and emotional time.”
No one had challenged him on his comments, she said.
“My sons are not into sports so it’s not something I have had much experience with, but after reading comments on my video, it seems to be a common issue.
“There were many amazing parents and teachers who attended who were very encouraging so it is sad some took time out of their day to go and create negativity.”
Shaw didn’t want to name the school “as I don’t want it as a reflection on them, but more of a widespread issue with parents”.
She wasn’t sure if she wanted her sons to take part in next year’s cross country, given the parents’ behaviour took away from “what the event actually is”.
“Kids being active, involved in school and trying their best was a priority for me rather than making sure they won.
“My message to anyone attending these events is just to be positive and not to judge kids. If the parents making comments were in the same situation, I doubt they would appreciate others mocking them.”
Only 7 per cent of Kiwi kids and teens aged 5 to 18 are meeting guidelines for physical activity, according to Sport NZ. Photo / John Cowpland
One of her sons was in tears after the event, and she’d watched his young friend put an arm around him and tell him what a great job he’d done, Shaw said.
“I was beyond touched that young kids can be so empathetic in comparison to an adult.”
Bad behaviour by parents and other adults on the sidelines of kids’ sport has been the target of many initiatives, especially amid fears some might be put off taking part.
Only 7 per cent of the more than 900,000 Kiwi kids and teens aged 5 to 18 are meeting guidelines for physical activity, according to figures on Sport New Zealand’s website.
Former All Black Dan Carter (right) pictured with captain Richie McCaw after the All Blacks' 2015 World Cup triumph, has supported initiatives to encourage better behaviour from parents while on the sideline of their kids' sports games. Photo / Photosport
In 2016, mum Rochelle Mara pleaded for sideline abuse against her son Eljae Pukeiti-Mara to stop.
Mara wrote on Facebook of the hurt her son felt being labelled “a big boy” by spectators watching his Manurewa Marlins Under-10 rugby league team. Others said her son wasn’t “an asset to the team”.
Four years later, former All Blacks superstar and dad Dan Carter joined several Kiwi athletes encouraging better behaviour from parents watching their kids play sport.
“It’s important that not only you’re saying the right thing to your children, but you’re acting that way as well. They’ll pick up a lot from your body language or how you’re acting,” Carter said.
* The national Good Sports programme encourages positive sporting experiences for children and young people through supporting and educating the adults that make it happen. Information and resources are on their Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/GoodSportsNZ/.
Cherie Howie is an Auckland-based reporter who joined the Herald in 2011. She has been a journalist for more than 20 years and specialises in general news and features.
