Christchurch mosque shooter sentencing: Gunshot wounds and grief only the start of pain, suffering for terror attack families

GRAPHIC CONTENT WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS DETAILS WHICH READERS MIGHT FIND UPSETTING

They have flashbacks, nightmares and they are terrified to walk in the street.

They suffer depression, anxiety, mood swings and they cannot sleep.

They cannot work or are forced to work like never before to support their families – often multiple families.

The pain and suffering of the gunshot wounds and the heartache of burying their loved ones was only the beginning for the victims of the Christchurch terror attacks.

And yesterday in the High Court at Christchurch they spoke – one after the other – about the struggle, the misery and the hardship that followed the last year's March 15 massacre.

Brenton Tarrant faces a life sentence for 51 murders, 40 attempted murders and one charge of terrorism. Photo / Pool

More than 55 people have read Victim Impact Statements at the sentencing of gunman Brenton Harrison Tarrant, 29.

Many of the 51 killed and 40 wounded by the Australian national were the main income providers for their families – and for relatives both here and abroad.

Wives and elders have been forced to return to work since the attack to cover basic expenses.

Government support has only gone so far and they are struggling.

Mohammed Sayeeduddin's son Farhaj Ahsan – a father of two – was killed at the Al Noor Mosque.

He is supporting his parents and siblings, along with his own wife and children.

Without him, Sayeeduddin has to make do for everyone on his pension payments.

He said they were now "forced to live a pathetic and miserable life", they were financially crippled and the family was "pushed to the brink of starvation".

"We are confined to our house and feel socially withdrawn," he said.

Others also spoke of the financial impact.

Mohammad Shamim Siddiqui was shot in the left arm as he fled the Al Noor Mosque.

The taxi driver spent eight days in hospital and still cannot work - he is too traumatised.

His wife lost her job as a result of the massacre and the family are now surviving on about $600 a week in ACC payments.

Zahid Ismail's twin brother Junaid was killed at Al Noor. Photo / Supplied

Zahid Ismail's twin brother Junaid was murdered at Al Noor.

He is now supporting Junaid's widow, children and their parents, as well as helping to run his twin's business.

The scars of the attack are certainly not confined to the flesh wounds of the survivors.

Ambreen Naeem lost her husband Rashid and son Talha on March 15.

On top of the financial burden she now faces raising her surviving sons, she is also suffering mentally.

"I am scared to go for a walk because his evil action might have inspired others to do the same behaviour," she said.

"Since my husband and son passed away I have not have a proper, normal sleep – I don't think I ever will.

"This is affecting my health … It is an irreparable damage to me."

Many survivors spoke of counselling, psychiatric treatment, medication.

Some battle to get out of bed each day and others wish they had died along with their loved ones.

The list of the ways their trauma has manifested is endless – the misery they have to overcome every day unfathomable.

Rosemary Christine Omar lost her son during the shootings. Photo / Pool

The Omar family had all found themselves in dark and terrifying places since 24-year-old Tariq was gunned down.

"I have had to cope with his loss on a daily basis … I've had to live and function sometimes from moment to moment ... I feel there's a permanent shadow cast over our family," his mother Rosemary said.

She found simple daily tasks like cooking and knitting – things that were usually easy - were now a huge challenge and difficult to complete.

She has also been diagnosed with PTSD and suffered flashbacks.

"The loss and grief is so debilitating," she said.

She also has issues with her memory and had been diagnosed with amnesia.

Once a full-time working and confident mum of three, she is now unemployed and too scared to be out in public.

She cannot even go to the supermarket or sit in her car without feeling like people are watching her, the paranoia and fear taking over her life at times.

"I worry and wonder if my family will ever be safe … I have to endure this worry in my life now, I feel like I am in a dark place.

"I don't know if I will ever feel like I used to … I can't grasp this feeling of premature loss."

"I feel like I am a failure. I don't like being in public and I don't like being noticed … I feel really uneasy there, I'm always on watch searching around for threats."

Kiran Munir said Tarrant's actions had turned her world upside down and caused irreparable damage to her "mental health and sanity".

Her husband Haroon Mahmood was shot multiple times at Al Noor Mosque.

She said when she goes there now there is a strong feeling her husband was there watching over her.

"This horrific incident has turned our lives upside down and I am truly devastated," said the widow and mother of two.

"The trauma for me and children … is not just on the surface … These life-changing injuries that me and my kids have suffered will stay in our lives forever."

The events of Christchurch are distressing. If you, or someone you, know needs mental wellbeing support or advice then call or text 1737 anytime. There is some great advice on coping after a traumatic event here: https://www.health.govt.nz/node/9714. It includes key information for parents of children.