Parents of two girls from Christchurch Girls' High School have applauded the school's bravery while challenging boys' schools to lead the change in sexual behavior. Photo / George Heard
Parents of a girl at Christchurch Girls' High School have applauded the school's bravery while challenging boys' schools to lead the change in sexual behaviour.
Three female students at CGHS have laid complaints with police over sexual harassment they have experienced after the release of a school-wide survey on Monday.
In the survey, more than 20 students alleged they had been raped.
"It's horrendous. A horrendous statistic but it doesn't surprise me," the father of a pupil told the Herald.
"When I got the page of the unreported rapes, I just felt sick," his wife said.
"My initial response was, is one of my daughters one of those victims?"
Their daughter was not one of those victims claiming to be raped but the student said the detailed stories released as part of the survey were "hard to read".
"All the rape stuff, like the girl and the boyfriend - someone who she trusted - then bringing all his other friends into the room and taking turns. I would never ever have even thought about that, haven't heard about it all at," she said.
'You kind of know who to stay away from, who to keep your friends away from if they are drunk at parties and stuff cause you want to keep them protected from all the things that are happening."
More than 1000 students attend Christchurch Girls' High School, a public school on the doorstep of Hagley Park, steeped in history and tradition and in demand by parents.
A total of 725 girls, aged between 12 and 18, took part in the first survey of its kind into sexual harassment suffered by high school girls.
It found more than 60 per cent had experienced sexual harassment, a quarter of victims more than 10 times.
The offenders were mostly lone males but a quarter were groups of boys.
The incidents regularly occurred at weekend parties, on the streets or on public transport.
"We don't send our girls off to school to be harassed," the mother said.
But that hasn't stopped their daughter from being harassed almost every day on the bus home from school.
"Our girls changed buses because they didn't like going on that bus that goes past Boys High because it was packed with Boys High boys and it was the intimidation," her mum said.
"You know, looks and gestures and comments."
For her own safety, she now tries to sit up the front of the bus.
"Boys ask me for my Snapchat," she says.
"Sorry, I have a boyfriend, just leave it," she tells them.
"They ask where are you heading? How old am I?" But she never tells them.
"They called me hot and really pretty. It is not sexual but it makes you feel uncomfortable.
"Busing to school is not a problem because there are always girls on my bus who go to the same school. I walk with them in a crowd because I feel more comfortable with that.
"Busing home today," she says, "I was still cautious - men were still sitting next to me – like what they were saying to their friends, what they were doing, how they were acting - I made sure they didn't get off at the same bus stop as me because if they followed me I don't know what I would do."
She once called her dad and asked him to meet her at a bus stop.
Instead of taking the quickest bus home she now catches an alternative route and travels via the bus exchange that takes an hour longer.
"It takes an hour and a half to get from school to home."
It would normally take half an hour.
"It's for their own self-protection, because of the kind of intimidation on the bus was so uncomfortable," her mother says.
The survey results were shared with the whole school by the principal this week with the board chair, police, head girl and author of the survey in attendance.
"The principal told the girls how proud she was that we had been honest through the survey," the student said.
It was emailed home to students parents and guardians.
"I reckon it is gold – it's a step in the right direction making more people aware," says the father.
"I am really happy the school is front footing it – that it is out in a public – there is no way else you are going to get it changed."
"The type of verbal harassment and bum pinching has always happened. It is not that it is an accepted thing but it has always happened," his wife said.
"It shouldn't happen – but how do you stop it?"
"To me it highlights to the boys' school that they need a lot more education," her husband says.
"Do you understand the impact you guys are having? When someone gets on the bus and you give her lip – we don't need that.
"We know rugby, we know boys' schools and First XVs are chest-beating silverbacks and they want to outdo each other and I think the odd one who wants to show off, wolf whistle.
"We have got to get past putting the First XV ... these guys ... they are put up as the superstars and they have got to lead.
"It also has to come from coaches and teachers, too. The principal sets the tone for the whole thing if it [behaviour] is not acceptable."
Then there are the weekend parties put on by parents for their school kids.
"Young teenagers, young girls and young boys and alcohol don't mix well at all.
"I have always been the mother who asks where are you going? Who are you going with? How are you getting there? How are you getting home? Whose place it is and what is the address and gets on Google and searches the house and streets," the mother said.
She leaves no stone unturned.
There were "two instances when [her daughter] said no – she got some bad vibes".
"You are also trying to give them more space to deal with things on their own – you can't wrap them in cotton wool forever."
Their daughter says it is all down to what the boys say and do.
"I am sure the schools don't promote anything like this, it is just the culture of the boys' schools – if I can get with so many girls over the weekend – got another few numbers to add to your list – it's double standards."
Despite the survey, the publicity, support of the school and police she is unsure what if any change will come from it.
"I don't think there is really much you can change because that is the way they are. You ask them not to do stuff, teach them how bad it is and might get something through their heads.
"I don't think they will ever change."
If it's an emergency and you feel that you or someone else is at risk, call 111.
If you've ever experienced sexual assault or abuse and need to talk to someone contact the Safe to Talk confidential crisis helpline on:
• Text 4334 and they will respond
• Email support@safetotalk.nz
• Visit https://safetotalk.nz/contact-us/ for an online chat
Alternatively contact your local police station - click here for a list.
If you have been abused, remember it's not your fault.
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