When earthquake survivor Mary-Anne Jackson goes into a building, she thinks about where the exits are.
The only Canterbury Television staff member to get out of the channel's offices alive in the February earthquake has learned that doorways are her lifeline.
As the CTV building was collapsing in the quake,the regional channel's receptionist had only a few seconds to get out. She turned back in a daze to see all six storeys had "pancaked down".
More than two months after her lucky escape, Ms Jackson is back manning the CTV reception desk, in a new building and with some new colleagues who have helped resurrect the channel's operations.
"I have lots of flashbacks," she told the Herald.
"I wake up in the night thinking about it all. About the earthquake and running out through the doors and how I managed to get out - I still don't know. I just ran for my life. I remember standing there for a split second thinking 'I have got to get out of here'."
While Ms Jackson feels secure in the new CTV offices, she is wary of other buildings.
"I definitely don't like going into malls, I have not been in a high rise since the earthquake, and I will try to avoid a lift. I always make sure I know where the exits are. And I don't like going in any car park - I will never go into an underground car park."
She often thinks about her "gorgeous" 16 CTV colleagues who "had no chance" in the quake.
"I think you still have to get on with normal life. But I now think 'oh, I won't put off doing that, I'll do that now' because you never know when your time is up. Those lovely colleagues and friends, they just didn't know that was their time."
Ms Jackson has had to deal not only with the CTV tragedy, but also quake damage to her own Mount Pleasant home, which moved off its foundations and is uninhabitable.
She is growing tired of "living out of suitcases" as she waits for answers from insurers and assessors.
"One minute they say it's got to be replaced, the next minute they say it's going to be fixed. So I'm still in limbo."
She hopes to see answers from the royal commission of inquiry looking into the CTV building collapse.
