There are children in the community learning it's okay to behave violently and to control their family members, says Sergeant Rob Foster.
The Taupo policing area family violence intervention coordinator says he wants kids to grow up knowing that's wrong.
"In the seven or eight years I've been here I've dealt with family violence incidents with parents and now their kids are growing up and they're having the same in their own relationships," says Mr Foster, who prefers the term 'family harm' to family violence.
In Taupo, police work with a range of other agencies to prevent and deal with family harm. The years of "it's just a domestic" are long gone. Mr Foster says police have a zero tolerance to family violence.
"It's very rare that we deal with family violence with a warning. We're very, very keen to hold people to account for the offending."