A visit to Christchurch proves sobering with blank windows, vacant lots and birds flying up out of ruins.
Derelict buildings are scary. I know this from experience. Years ago when I was working for a law firm in Central Auckland, I found myself between flats and accepted, without much thought, an invitation to move into an apartment on top of the CML building in Queen Street. On the face of it, everything seemed fine. I would be flatting with a law student and a policeman. The apartment had glass doors opening out on to the roof, which served as an enormous concrete deck. It was slightly shabby, but most flats were. It was convenient, so much so that I could see my own office from it. But there was something I didn't take into account until I'd moved in: the CML mall was scheduled for demolition and the entire building below the flat was completely empty.
When I was a child, I used to be frightened of the house if there was no one home. I would wait outside, or go to a friend's house until the place was occupied. Now, in Queen Street I relived that old fear on a grand scale. In the evening after work I would unlock the glass door to the abandoned mall, walk the length of it, enter the lift and ride up through the empty floors. The lift only went to the seventh; then you had to walk up a flight of stairs. This, I soon realised, was potentially dangerous, since there was no way of knowing who could have got into the building during the day.
I managed to endure the torturous entries and exits from the flat; life was busy and I didn't have time to find anywhere nicer to live. But it got really intolerable when summer came and my two flatmates went away on holiday. I recall the first night alone when I realised I couldn't lock the doors to the roof, and they could be accessed from the empty building. If anyone got in, eight floors above Queen Street at night, no one would hear you scream.
It was one of those paralysing messes you get into when you're young. I was going to work each day, but at night I was so frightened I often sat on the roof for hours and watched the shadows. All around me were the yellow windows of the city, rubbish whirling up from the street and the sighing of the wind in the aerials. Below me were seven storeys of silence, emptiness and black space.