Jenni Mortimer sits down with Treasure Island: Fans v Faves winner Matty McLean. Video / NZ Herald
New Zealand entrepreneur and TV star Cassie Roma was left shaken after she was the victim of vile homophobic abuse on the North Shore in an unprovoked attack this morning - but she has defiantly issued a vital message for Kiwis following the incident.
The former Auckland Pride chair waswalking in Birkenhead when a group of young men in a car stopped to yell “vile homophobic and angry” slurs at her.
The Apprentice Aotearoa star opened up about the ordeal, saying the incident has left her shaken and that homophobia is beginning to bubble to the surface again.
“It’s not the first time and won’t be the last time, but it shakes you,” she told the Herald.
“Three weeks ago, I was in Nashville, and we were marching in a rally to protest the anti-drag bill that has passed. I come back to New Zealand and think, ‘I’m really safe. I’ve lived in this neighbourhood many years, walk down the street with my wife.’”
Instead, she was abused by strangers for her sexuality and appearance.
“I was walking down the road and a car of five young men rolled down the window and stopped in front of me and yell, ‘dyke b****’. And they laughed as they drove off. It’s pretty disgusting and still does surprise me.”
Cassie Roma hopes her story will shine a light on homophobia that still exists in New Zealand. Photo / TVNZ
Since coming out to her then-husband in 2015, the Celebrity Treasure Island contestant has been an active member of the rainbow community.
However, Roma told the Herald that while New Zealand is ahead of many other nations around the world for LGBTQI+ inclusivity, she has noticed a rise in homophobia and believes acts of discrimination, violence and hateful beliefs against rainbow communities overseas are starting to be mirrored here.
“It’s getting worse now because of the feeling and intense emotion from overseas. There is more of an intense energy. We saw in Avondale last week [there was backlash] with the drag queens reading stories to children in libraries.
“I’m now more conscious of not holding my wife’s hand in public, of not trying to look as queer as I possibly can be [in case it attracts homophobia]. I tend to look feminine and often forget I am an ‘other’. I can ‘straight-path’ myself for protection.”
Roma said she has to “shake myself and say, ‘no Cass, I need to be out and need to be visible.’”
“Because these are things that are going to happen and how are we going to teach people if we’re not able to show them how hurtful their words and intent are? I don’t know if these men know how shaken I was. Or if they just thought it was a laugh. It’s not a laugh, it’s hurtful.
“It always hits a nerve and hits deep. I’m a mum and I think these kids [who abused me] were only three to five years older than my 17-year-old. What kind of households do they come from where they can yell out of a car window and be scary at a woman walking on her own.
“If you couple that with violence and intimidation we’ve had on the North Shore, and you add the mixture of homophobia and misogyny, it’s like oh my gosh this is happening in Auckland. We’re supposed to be a caring and open society.”
Cassie Roma and her wife Carly Roma at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas.
Following the verbal attack, the Catholic-raised 41-year-old said two members of the public came to her assistance to ask if she was okay.
“That mattered a lot because I felt like I was part of a community that cared.”
It’s not the first time Roma has been subjected to homophobic slurs and hate speech.
The last two times she has toured Christchurch and the deep south, the entrepreneur and mentor has been told to her face that people in the rainbow community “are going to hell”.
She explained while most of New Zealand is accepting and tolerant, it’s the “vociferous minority who are the loudest and seek the most attention” and “say the most vile things”.
So, what does Roma think Kiwis can do to stamp out any rising hostility towards the rainbow community?
“One thing New Zealand is really good at is allyship. Being an ally isn’t just my best friend supporting me, the most important allyship we can do is when you have conversations with your friends or in workplaces behind closed doors, it’s calling out bad behaviour, it’s calling out people who make gay jokes or calling out people at church who say the Bible says homosexuality is a sin. Nowhere in the good book does it say that. It’s standing up for people in the room who can’t stand up for themselves or are scared.
“People need to learn that love is different for everyone. New Zealand is a beautiful place, the more that allies can speak up in public and be around when things happen will help. We just want to feel like normal people. Love us as your friends and whānau and speak up when you can.”
