Carrying off a bit of toilet humour

By Alastair Sloane

Suzuki New Zealand wanted to show that its new compact van was a handy load-carrier. So it called it the Carry Van. Because that's exactly what it is - a van that carries things.

Then its advertising people produced a brochure showing that the Carry Van could carry a satellite dish, toilet pan, tree and chocolate cakes.

Why the admen chose such diverse items wasn't revealed. Perhaps the tree was going to be planted in the toilet pan and the chocolate cakes were to be eaten while watching satellite television.

Or maybe the people loading the Carry Van don't like television at all. Perhaps they like to be seen deliberately ignoring it, while sitting on the floor of the van eating chocolate cake, talking to the tree and trying to reinvent the toilet pan.

Who knows? What is known is that Suzuki is chuffed about its $17,995 mini-mover, launched here last week.

Said Andrew Gillam, the company's marketing boss: "Being able to manoeuvre in busy city streets is becoming more critical and large or full-sized vans lack this flexibility. Unless large vans are carrying large, bulky loads at all times, they are not being used efficiently."

Car-derived vans weren't efficient either, he said, because of a low roof, one rear door, small capacity and a loadbed often compromised by intrusive wheel arches.

The Carry Van is 3.6m long, 1.4m wide, 1.8m tall and can carry 585kg, a payload presumably much heavier than a satellite dish, toilet pan, tree and chocolate cakes.

It sits on a 2.3m wheelbase, has sliding doors on both sides, a vertical tailgate and is powered by an all-alloy 1.3-litre, four-cylinder engine mated to a five-speed manual gearbox.

The Carry Van comes with central locking, power-assisted steering, electric front windows and a Sony radio-cassette.

The Sony system enables the driver to listen to his favourite tape while he figures out why Suzuki would print a brochure showing people loading a van with a satellite dish, toilet pan, tree and chocolate cakes.