Two-hundred women packed into a Napier venue on a hot evening for an event called Myths of Menopause. Photo / iStock
OPINION: “There’s going to be a riot,” I wrote from inside the Marist Football Clubrooms in Napier’s Park Island.
“A very sweaty one.”
It was 6.59pm on a baking hot Thursday and the air conditioning was struggling. There was no breeze - the windows that could actually open offered no comfort.
Sitting shoulder to shoulder with me were 200 women of a certain age at an event called Myths of Menopause.
This was asking for anarchy, right?
As it turns out, in times like these, mature women do what they do best. They calmly ignore their discomfort, grab a glass of wine, find something to fan themselves with, and focus on the important things.
And so it was that we all turned a little redder as Hawke’s Bay experts spoke openly about personal midlife issues that aren’t often talked about. And boy did they speak openly.
Hosted by the founder of Napier’s FemaleGP Health Clinic, Dr Samantha Newman, together with an occupational therapist, a pelvic physiotherapist, nutritionists, a lifestyle GP, a continence nurse and the local chemist; no taboo remained unturned on February 2.
Over the course of four hours, this room full of sandal and white sneaker-wearers were served some home truths about sex and libido, our hot flushes and our chilly moods, our thickening waistlines and thinning hairlines. Myths were busted.
Dr Newman lives and breathes menopause research. She’s a busy mother herself, and she wants women to take control of their health.
“In our 30s, 40s and 50s women have gained a wealth of experience throughout all aspects of their lives and should be able to thrive,” she says.
But many of us aren’t, and we’re confused.
What stage are we even at? Perimenopause? Menopause? Postmenopause? Symptoms can start while you’re still having periods!
Are medications right for you? Modern HRT? It’s totally different these days.
Safe, effective, “magical” according to many, and for most women, the benefits outweigh the risks.
“It’s not just for combating hot flushes,” Samantha says.
“HRT is also the first line medication for mood changes.”
Anti-inflammatories? Pretty great too apparently.
And why do we feel like we’re going crazy? Because we’re more stressed than we’ve ever been according to Dr Catherine Gray from Shape My Health in Hastings.
“When I was a trainee doctor, my senior asked what I thought the most challenging years were for a woman,” she said.
“I thought it was early parenting, but he said no. It’s the 35-50+ years that are the most demanding.”
Many of us in this age group are still looking after children and teens or have adult children or grandchildren at home.
We’re also still working, with mortgages to manage and marriages to maintain, retirements to save for and ageing parents to care for. It’s a lot.
To talk about our struggles we downloaded an app.
“In one word, what do you think of menopause?” Dr Newman asked the audience on the app.
The overwhelmingly popular answer was “scary”, closely followed by “nasty”, “unfair”, “sux”, “unknown”, “uncomfortable”, “hot” and “ripped off” which was two words, but no one cared.
The app also allowed the audience to ask questions which Dr Newman and the guest speakers attempted to answer during their presentations.
“How do I get my sex drive back?” was a major.
“Make sure you’ve got enough spoons,” was a theory from Elen Nathan, a paediatric occupational therapist in the room.
The spoons represent the energy a person has available for daily activities.
Each activity requires a number of spoons, which can only be replaced when you recharge through rest.
“If I have to sort the kids for school, work all day, cook dinner, clean up and do the kids’ bath and bedtime myself, then my husband knows I probably won’t have enough spoons left for sex,” she laughs.
Sleep (at least seven nights a week) and masturbation (at least three times a week) helps too. Hooray! We were told to take control of our vaginas. From now on if mine misbehaves I shall take away its privileges and make it sit in the naughty corner.
Gina Hill and Emma Winnie arrived - young, slim, beautiful, intelligent clinical nutritionists from The Nutrition Clinic.
We liked them when they told us to eat more protein, lift more weights, and to take a break from the treadmill and those awful, time-restricted, fasting-type diets.
But we didn’t like them when they told us to lay off the alcohol. Sigh.
It was time for fizzy refreshments.
“For an extra five bucks we’ll let you stand in the chiller for five minutes!” laughed the volunteers at the bar at the break.
“Do you take payWave?” I asked.
- Yvonne Lorkin is the co-founder and Chief Tasting Officer of WineFriend and is growing older in Hawke’s Bay. Next week Lorkin, our roving correspondent, brings us the second half of her night - featuring Viagra, pelvic floors, and smooth slippery snakes.
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