Bullying's scars can last a lifetime

By Bronwyn Sell

It takes a 7-year-old to explain how a 7-year-old feels about being bullied.

"As sad as a duck with no water."

The simplicity is achingly cute. Add six more years of bullying, however, and cute turns to angry.

"Like smashing someone - anyone."

At 16, it becomes despair: "Like it's too awful to live any more."

These are typical responses to bullying, says the organisation which collected them, Specialist Education Services, a provider of behavioural support to schools.

Last year 2577 pupils were suspended for assaulting other children - nearly 200 more than in 1997 - and 134 for sexual harassment or misconduct - 12 fewer than the previous year.

A University of Auckland study of 2066 North Island secondary students found that 75 per cent had been bullied, while 44 per cent said they had bullied others.

A survey of schoolchildren aged 10 to 13, by Gabrielle Maxwell and Janis Carroll-Lind, found that about half had been punched, kicked, beaten or hit, and as many as 70 per cent had been emotionally bullied.

A quarter rated bullying as one of the worst things to happen to them, as upsetting as someone close dying or parents separating or fighting.

"[Bullying] is the experience of most of the children, no matter how capable, popular and well-adjusted they are. Most children, either individually or in a group, become involved in carrying out some type of bullying at some time."

In one of the worst recent cases, 15-year-old Matthew Ruddenklau killed himself after being bullied and threatened at school in Invercargill.

And bullying was blamed for driving Wellington 19-year-old Nicholas Hawker to murder 15-year-old schoolgirl Vanessa Woodman.

Victoria University senior lecturer Dr Keith Sullivan says it is hard to make comparisons with other countries, but we probably have a higher rate of bullying.

Bullying comes in many forms, he says. Isolated children without friends are likely to become victims, while dominant children tend to call the shots on how the isolated child is treated.

When dominant children are seeking a scapegoat, isolated children are most vulnerable, and may not be defended by teachers who are unaware or unsympathetic.

The Commissioner for Children, Roger McClay, says victims tend to become withdrawn and insecure, lack concentration and often miss school.

According to an Australian study, they are at greater risk of depression, post-traumatic stress disorder and schizophrenia.

Mr McClay says bullies also have long-term problems.

"They are more likely later in life to be involved in alcohol abuse, domestic violence and violent crime."

Gabrielle Maxwell and Janis Carroll-Lind say adults often dismiss bullying as part of childhood, but they warn against underestimating its impact.

"Some children live out their school lives feeling lonely, rejected and fearful without any sense that things can change for them. Feelings of unfairness and injustice and fears for the future stayed with many of these children long after the events that generated them."

The experts say bullying occurs in all schools. Gabrielle Maxwell and Janice Carroll-Lind found similar degrees in rich and poor and rural and urban schools.

Dr Vivienne Adair, from the Auckland University School of Education, believes bullies tend to be boys who are themselves exposed to negative behaviour in their families and communities.

She says bullying occurs more in poorer environments.

Yvonne Duncan, national coordinator of the Foundation for Peace Studies' Cool Schools peer mediation programme, says affluent schools tend to have more cases of social or verbal bullying, while pupils at poorer schools are more likely to be violent, perhaps reflecting their respective communities.

Violence in schools is getting worse as violence and stress in children's homes and communities increase.

Youth Law solicitor David Fleming sees the worst cases of school violence. In the year to June the company handled 57 cases of bullying - nearly three times more than in the previous year.

He does not think there are big changes in the amount of bullying, but feels schools and society may be getting less tolerant.

"That might be a good thing, because the previous attitude was, 'Well, bullying will toughen you up.'"

Mr Fleming is representing a 14-year-old Auckland boy who ended up in hospital with concussion last month after he was beaten around the head with a chain by other children.

The school did not provide medical attention, and its reaction typified an alarming lack of action in some schools.

"Unfortunately, often a school's response to bullying just seems to be to deny it, and it's seen as an admission of failure to say, 'Yes, we do have bullying and we need to deal with it.'"

Mrs Duncan says the more affluent the school, the more likely it is to deny having a problem.

"Schools these days are interested in attracting students, and they don't want any stories getting out that might affect that."

Dr Sullivan says schools must learn to reconcile criticism with accountability and competition.

"The public has to accept that bullying is endemic and not an indicator of a 'bad' school, and schools have to learn how to handle bullying. Schools are a microcosm of the world to come, so there is felt to be a need to intervene ... at an early stage."