By EUGENE BINGHAM
Gerry Ledingham remembers feeling terrified when his mother told him their priest was coming to collect him for the weekend.
He was aged about 10 and had already been molested by Father Frank Green.
Desperate to avoid going, Gerry made himself sick by scoffing butter. At the time, he thought nothing of it that his younger brother Chris was sent instead.
More than 40 years later, Gerry realises that his escape put his brother in danger.
After half a lifetime of silence, three of the Ledingham brothers have spoken to each other about the sexual abuse they suffered in Auckland in the 1950s and 1960s.
Gerry, Chris and their elder brother Mike grew up in a family of eight, steeped in Catholicism.
"Dad had three sisters who were nuns and mum's brother was a Marist brother," said Mike. "In our eyes, the church was all-powerful."
When Father Green joined the Onehunga parish in 1957, he became a regular visitor to the house. He encouraged the Ledinghams to serve as altar boys and join in gymnastics classes. He took them to gym competitions and later to visit his family in the Waikato, one at a time.
The brothers say he would fondle them and perform sexual acts in the presbytery and on the trips.
Gerry, 51, and Chris, 49, say the abuse lasted several years. Mike, 52, recalls only a few incidents. All three say Father Green would also get them in trouble at school for things they had not done while remaining friendly with their parents.
This reinforced that they should not tell anyone about what was going on. "No one would have believed us," said Gerry.
The brothers did not even tell each other. But in 1985, Gerry and Mike were having a beer when Father Green's name came up. Mike referred to him as a paedophile. Gerry looked shocked. "Just from the look on my face, Mike knew and said, 'Oh, no, not you too'," said Gerry. They decided against approaching the church out of respect for their mother. "She worked in the presbytery, cooking and typing for the priests,"said Gerry. "We wanted her to die without the knowledge of what happened."
In the late 1980s, their mother rang Gerry to say she was going to Father Green's funeral. "Mum said something like, 'He was good to you boys when you were young.' I bit my tongue." The men's parents died without knowing the truth.
Chris had never been able to settle down and abused alcohol and drugs for decades. After another broken relationship, he decided in April to confront the church.
He also worked up the courage in July to tell his brothers. "A friend of mine had said I should check with my brothers, so I was not shocked to learn about them." Mike and Gerry were appalled to find out about Chris and complained to the church as well.
Delays in having their complaint dealt with have compounded the abuse.
Chris said Father Green's actions had left him feeling there was a piece of his life he could never open up. "It severely compromised my spirituality, my sexuality, my trust, my ability to commit without fear, my ability to hold personal power in any relationship, romantic or other."
Mike said he felt he had been constantly running away from himself. "I was very emotionally immature and felt guilty about things I hadn't done."
Mike, who married in his 30s and has five children, said as the eldest he felt it was his duty to protect his brothers - finding out about Chris gutted him.
Gerry has been married for 31 years and has three children. He told them about the abuse years ago and says he is comfortable with his life, although the memories have haunted him in the past 10 years.
"I still have the odd nightmare," said Gerry, who moved to Australia more than 15 years ago, followed by the other two brothers.
Brothers end years of lonely silence over a glass of beer
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