'Bring a plate' can bring a problem for migrants

By RENEE KIRIONA

Most New Zealanders know what "RSVP" and "Bring a plate" mean, but the terms can throw many migrants.

On day two of the three-day Kiwi Life programme held yesterday, adult migrants from as far as India, Britain, Asia and Europe received a lesson on family life.

Subjects included dealing with schools, socialising, visits to the doctor, insurance and problem-solving.

By the end, most participants, if not all, discovered that New Zealanders live much more liberal lifestyles than they are use to.

"In your child's life they are going to be asked to many birthday parties and my advice to you is to let them go," tutor Sandra Taylor told the class.

"You might also be invited to special occasions and if so you need to start thinking about a gift, how to respond to invitations and possibly even a plate of food to take."

Because most migrant mothers stayed at home and looked after elderly parents while their partners worked and the children went to school, they risked being left out, Mrs Taylor said.

Lela Hoi Ang Leong, a social worker who arrived from China several months ago, had some adjustments to make.

"In China parents and teachers are allowed to smack and punish children so when they move here they struggle with ways to discipline them within the boundaries of the law," she said.

Many Chinese were too busy studying or working to socialise.

Steve Hardy, who arrived from Manchester with his family a month ago, had also noticed the difference in schooling and how much Kiwis loved sports and the water.

"My children get back from school and tell me the teachers make the work fun. They are loving it here. It is not as regimental as back home."

Last night, the third module in the programme, run by the Highland Park Community House in Pakuranga with help from Manukau City Council, looked at credit history and investment. Today's final lesson covers buying property.

Kiwi Life

DAY TWO: Family Life in New Zealand:

* The family unit

* Dealing with schools

* Socialising and recreation (touching base with sports, recreation-based clubs, responding to invitations)

* Visits to the doctor and health insurance

* Problem-solving

* Credit history and investment

DAY THREE: We follow migrants as they learn how to buy property