John Key can't remember which side he was on during the Springbok Tour civil war, so it's not surprising he kicked for touch the other day when US Vice-President Joe Biden dropped in to announce the end of the US Navy's petty 31-year boycott of our shores.
"It's not a victory for one side or a defeat for the other," said the Prime Minister. It was hard to know if he was being diplomatic to the loser standing alongside him, or just playing for time as he waited for his Google app to jog his memory on the no-nukes bust up between the US and the Lange Government all those years ago.
With half the population now either too young to know what the fuss is about, or more recent migrants, and the rest of us with little appetite to reheat the old stand-off, there were no outbursts of triumphalism. But I confess I would be delighted if, in November, when the US coastguard cutter, or whichever other token non-nuclear vessel sails over the horizon to join in the NZ Navy's 75th birthday celebrations, it's directed to a lonely berth down at the old cement wharf at Onehunga.
A little utu served cold is richly deserved for the humiliation inflicted on the Te Kaha and Endeavour in 2012 when, on arriving as invited guests at the Rimpac international naval exercises in Hawaii, they were deliberately quarantined at a berth at the Honolulu container terminal, too unclean to join the other guests at the Pearl Harbour naval base.
Even warships from old enemy Japan, which in 1941 had blown Pearl Harbour to smithereens, dragging the US into WWII, were forgiven. But not New Zealand.