Last year, I gently mocked the pre-election claim of Wellington's then mayor, Kerry Prendergast, that her town was "recognised as the arts and culture capital" of the country.
Wellingtonians have long fantasised that if they chanted this mantra enough times, it would miraculously come true. Or at least, that they'd fool the rest of us into believing it must be so.
But deep down, they knew it wasn't so. And now, poor things, they've got the reports to prove it. And it's thrown them into an awful tizzwass.
Last week, Dominion Post arts editor Tom Cardy cast envious eyes northwards in a despairing piece headlined "Can Wellington retain its arts capital title?" Which was gilding the lily more than a little, given the reports he quotes from indicate that title - if it ever deserved it - is now firmly Auckland's.
Consultancy firm Martin Jenkins is not quite that blunt in its January report "Economy of the Arts in Wellington."
No doubt it wanted to let its client down gently when it refers, in its opening breath, to Wellington's "reputation as New Zealand's cultural capital".
Like Mrs Prendergast, the report makes no bald claim that Wellington IS the arts capital, just that it has the "reputation" for being so. The former mayor's trick was to say "recognised" as such.
The Martin Jenkins report provides evidence aplenty that the reputation is unjustified. On page one of the executive summary, we learn that, "After Auckland city, Wellington city ... has the second highest share of arts and culture sector employees in New Zealand".
The report writers note "considerable concern about the northward drift of corporate sponsorship dollars and artists. Auckland is seen as an attractive city for young and emerging artists who feel there is 'a buzz' in Auckland. There were also seen to be greater job opportunities and the Auckland Council is seen to be more proactive in establishing arts and culture infrastructure".
We read that Wellington City has 14 per cent of the country's arts and culture sector employees - add another 2.5 per cent if you include Porirua and Upper and Lower Hutt. The old Auckland City had 32.5 per cent, the Super City has 45 per cent.
Wellington region accounted for around 15 per cent of the total direct economic contribution of the arts and culture sector and Auckland more than half. In cash terms, Wellington's contribution to the economy from arts and culture is around $378 million; Auckland's is as much as $1.31 billion.
In a section labelled "The Auckland Challenge", we learn that while focus groups supported "the concept of Wellington as the arts and culture capital, many felt that the city was at a tipping point". Interviewees were "candid" about the opportunities Auckland presented for both artists and organisations in terms of financial support, employment, larger audiences and infrastructure. Those surveyed were concerned about the "northward migration" of sponsors and "artistic talent" and called for greater local and central government support.
There was also concern among Wellingtonians that Creative New Zealand will shift funds away from Wellington-based companies "to fit more proportionately to the distribution of New Zealand population (ie especially Auckland)."
A subsequent report to this month's meeting of Wellington city's strategy and policy committee by Martin Rodgers, manager city arts, bemoans the fact that investment in the arts in other centres is "diminishing Wellington's clear leadership" as the "cultural capital".
Without explaining how it will happen, he notes the "urgent need" to "propel Wellington's cultural capital status to the next stage of its development". Mind you, I can understand his vagueness. How do you come up with a policy that propels you to the next stage of a Big Lie?
While there's a certain enjoyment in watching the Wellington cultural snobbocracy having to face up to the reality that Auckland is the happening place, there's also a serious lesson to be learned by Auckland politicians.
At least Wellington politicians see arts and culture as something to brag and lie about. During last year's mayoral election campaign, the Auckland candidates seemed to go out of their way to avoid any mention of the subject.
Similarly, this month, Auckland Council's Major Events Strategy was fixated with a marathon, a boat show, fashion week and tennis. Arts and culture hardly got a sideways glance. What a shame our politicians don't see the strength and pull of Auckland's culture scene that so alarms the Wellingtonians.
Brian Rudman: Capital's Big Lie has cultural and economic lessons for Super City
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