Diagnosed at 45 with stage 4 cancer, Jackie Robertson wants earlier bowel screening — and a better chance for others. Video \ Jason Dorday
Marathon runner and horse rider Jackie Robertson was diagnosed with stage 4 terminal bowel cancer in 2023.
She wants to live as long as she can to care for her son Zac, who is non-verbal and on the autism spectrum.
Robertson and her friend Rachael Ferguson are planning a protest at Parliament on 20 May.
Jackie Robertson thought bowel cancer was an “old man’s disease” until she was diagnosed with it in November 2023.
The ex-wife of Olympic rower Eric Murray was clean-living and healthy: she had run a half- marathon just a month earlier in October, and was a competitive horse-rider when she found out she had stage 4 colorectal cancer that had spread to her liver.
“I was young, fit and healthy and didn’t tick any of the boxes that I might be susceptible ... I cried till there were no tears left. I want to be there for my son,” Robertson told the Herald.
Jackie Robertson with her son Zac Murray. She was fit, healthy and a competitive rider when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Photo / Supplied.
Everything had appeared normal when she’d had a haemorrhoids procedure in 2022, she said.
It’s only in hindsight Robertson can see the subtle signs of the disease. “I had abnormal bowel movements, an upset tummy and loose poos. After a bowel motion there was a lot of blood in the toilet, but I’d had haemorrhoids and thought nothing of it” she said.
Every year, more than 3300 New Zealanders are diagnosed with bowel cancer, and more than 1200 die from the disease.
In December the government terminated plans for Māori and Pacific people - who are at higher risk of the disease - to access screening at 50 years old.
Jackie Robertson has terminal bowel cancer. She is organising a protest at parliament next month to lower the age of screening to 45. Photo / Jason Dorday.
This went against official advice, which recommended that lowering the screening age to 56 for Māori and Pacific peoples would save “significantly” more lives.
I try not to think about dying ... I’m frightened of my son seeing me dying
Robertson, 46, instead wants free bowel cancer screening for all Kiwis over 45.
She says bowel cancer suffers from an “unglamorous” reputation compared to other cancers.
Jackie Robertson says bowel cancer suffers from an "unglamorous" reputation compared to other cancers. Photo / Supplied.
“It’s a shit cancer that affects your bum. I’m not ashamed to talk about having ‘poo pipe’ cancer. Cancer is cancer - it’s horrible, no matter if it’s in your brain, breasts, or lungs.”
Robertson is making plans to take her protest to Parliament on 20 May with her friend Rachael Ferguson, who is in remission from bowel cancer.
The mothers living with stage 4 cancer found each other on social media and connected.
“Rachael was open and passionate about lowering the screening age ... We both want the government to wake up and do something,” Robertson told the Herald.
Rachael Ferguson says she felt like a fraud when she was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer as she was a 32 year old bodybuilder in apparently great health. Photo / Supplied
Ferguson says she felt like a fraud when she was diagnosed at 32 in 2020, and met the diagnosis with “total disbelief.
“When you hear someone has cancer, they lose their hair and weight, but I felt normal. I was fit and healthy - a body builder. Looking back, I had stomach cramps, an upset tummy or thought my period was due – but nothing was dinging alarm bells that something was off.
“I think testing should be lowered to 45 to match Australia” she said.
Ferguson is now in remission, and is an ambassador for Bowel Cancer NZ.
“Lowering it by two years isn’t good for anybody ... what we are seeing is more young people with bowel cancer. It’s not helping people in their 30s, 40s, 50s ... it’s ridiculous to be being told you are too young for testing,” Ferguson said.
Jackie Robertson has terminal bowel cancer and needs chemotherapy every three weeks. Photo / Supplied.
Robertson’s treatment is ongoing.
She began chemotherapy in December 2023 and has treatment every three weeks. After 28 rounds, the tumour has shrunk - but it’s been exhausting.
“At the start I lost probably 40% of my hair, but now it’s growing back. I get terrible pins and needles all the time in my mouth, fingers, hips and feet. But I don’t want people to think chemo is like in the movies where people are violently ill and can’t get out of bed.
“The oncologists and doctors manage it so you can still have a quality of life. [Then] there are times like I’ve had enough and think, I can’t do this anymore.”
Jackie Robertson has chemotherapy treatment every three weeks. She says her health insurance pays for her medical costs. Photo / Supplied
Robertson says her private health insurance covers her medical costs and pays for drugs that aren’t publicly funded.
“It makes me so angry. People shouldn’t have to remortgage their houses or set up Givealittle pages” she told the Herald.
“We shouldn’t be living in a third-world country, we shouldn’t have to pay to live.”
Jackie Robertson with her son Zac Murray. Jackie has terminal cancer and told the Herald she doesn't want to think about dying. NZME photograph by Jason Dorday
Robertson has a 13-year-old son Zac with her Olympian ex-husband Eric Murray.
“Zac has a wicked sense of humour and has taught me so much. My ex-husband has been there for Zac, but he has chosen a path not to support me which is unfortunate because I supported him through his sporting career. That’s what he has chosen and he has to live with it.”
When approached by the Herald, Murray declined to comment.
Jackie Robertson and her ex-husband, Eric Murray. They have shared custody of their 13 year old son Zac. Photo / Supplied
Zac’s anxiety escalated when Robertson first became ill. He refused to go to school, lashed out and hurt himself, Robertson said.
Things have calmed down since then.
“I try not to think about dying ... I’m frightened of my son seeing me dying” Robertson told the Herald.
Jackie Robertson with her son Zac Murray. Zac's anxiety escalated when Jackie became sick. Photo / Jason Dorday
Displayed on the walls in their two-bedroom house are some of Zac’s paintings. He recently won a prize for best artistic flair at a Waikato student arts competition. The pair love going for long walks and bike rides at a nearby park in Cambridge.
The teenager communicates with Robertson on an iPad. Snuggling up to her on the couch, Zac writes a message, “Mummy, I want chips, I want ice cream. I love you.”
Jackie Robertson with her mother Sharon, who is a thyroid and breast cancer survivor. Robertson said Sharon has been a 'rock' for her and Zac. Photo / Supplied
There are moments Robertson grieves for her old life. She can’t deny she misses riding, running marathons, and going to concerts with friends.
But ultimately, Robertson says she is content enjoying every moment she can have at home with Zac.
“This is my new life. I’ve put things in place that if I’m not around Zac will have security and a roof over his head.
“I joke I am his flatmate and he’s the only 13-year-old who owns his own house.”
Carolyne Meng-Yee is an Auckland-based investigative journalist who won Best Documentary at the Voyager Media Awards in 2022. She worked for the Herald on Sunday from 2007-2011 and rejoined the Herald in 2016 after working as an award-winning current affairs producer at TVNZ’s 60 Minutes, 20/20 and Sunday.
