'Bovine scatology' hits the chamber fan

By FRANCESCA MOLD

John Tamihere may have been hung by the Cabinet on Monday, but he was drawn and quartered in Parliament yesterday.

The Opposition gleefully grabbed the opportunity to put the minister on the rack after he accused a senior colleague of "bullshitting".

Mr Tamihere's day of misery began at Labour's caucus meeting, where he received another ticking off and sat in the corner like a naughty schoolboy while his colleagues sang Happy Birthday to the Prime Minister.

In the afternoon, Mr Tamihere was forced to sit in the debating chamber listening to his boss confirm that she had given him a real growling.

Helen Clark also confirmed that Mr Tamihere's offending speech had been removed from the Government website.

National leader Bill English tried to extend the misery to Labour's Clayton Cosgrove, suggesting that the MP thought his friend Mr Tamihere's call for the devolution of welfare services would go down well on the streets.

"I'm sure the comments went down very well on Victoria Avenue," replied Helen Clark tartly, referring to a well-to-do street in the Auckland suburb of Remuera.

NZ First leader Winston Peters joined in the fun, suggesting that Labour's Maori MPs were being forced to behave like lambs in caucus, while pretending to be lions in their constituencies.

National MP Katherine Rich then decided it was time to focus on Mr Tamihere's target, Steve Maharey.

She asked what he thought of Mr Tamihere's concern that the welfare system was about handouts rather than giving recipients a sense of worth and equality.

Mr Maharey said the Government's welfare policies were clearly based on mutual responsibility.

Mr Peters stepped in as the discussion threatened to become serious. He wanted to know if Mr Tamihere would "suffer bullshit policies in silence in the future, speak about it no more and parade himself up Lambton Quay at lunchtime with the minister to show some sort of public relations reconciliation".

Mr Maharey thought it unlikely that Mr Tamihere would be seen parading anywhere, and "bovine scatology" was something every MP indulged in now and again.

Mr Peters raised a point of order to ask whether the minister knew the Maori word for "egg all over your face".

He was quickly interrupted by Speaker Jonathan Hunt: "I could ask the member what the Maori word is for 'leaving the chamber'."

Act MP Muriel Newman questioned whether Mr Maharey was concerned about the comments that he had been "bullshitting", but she was interrupted by Labour MP Jill Pettis, who shrieked: "How common".

That drew roars of laughter from the Opposition, who suggested the pot was calling the kettle black.

Dr Newman asked whether the fact that Mr Maharey had won the Dominion Post "Wally of the Week" award detracted from his "life of blameless excellence".

Mr Maharey did not think it did.

Katherine Rich wanted to know whether former media studies academic Mr Maharey thought he was more credible than Mr Tamihere, who had worked on the welfare frontline.

"My expertise was in social change as well as media studies," replied Mr Maharey. "John has a great deal to offer and I'll carry on listening carefully to him."