First gear launches hard and, as the huge rear tyres start to bite and the traction control light carries on like a strobe at a dubstep gig, you hook second, which takes the speedo past 115km/h. By the time you've shifted the manual-only box into third, you're no friend of the boys in blue, and that's with three cogs still to go.
Yes, it's anti-social, but no, there's nothing wrong with that at all.
The three-litre, direct-injected twin turbo throws down an impressive 250kW, with 400Nm of torque available from only 1500rpm and an additional 50Nm via an overboost function in case you need it.
This savage package sends it to the legal limit in 4.9sec and, if conditions allow, it'll double that in 17.8sec on its way to an electronically set 250km/h limit. While BMW feels that this car is a spiritual successor to its original M3, its lineage is probably best traced right back to the old turbocharged 2002.
It's slightly longer than the 135i by a couple of centimetres at 4380mm, and a good 50mm wider at 1803mm thanks to those gorgeous swollen guards. This gives it a sumo stance that screams aggression, and provides a home for the 19-inch rims - 10 inches wide and shod with 265/35 feet on the back, and 9-wide 235/35 at the front - which are augmented by a variable diff lock that made even scrappy country road surfaces north of Auckland easy to cope with.
Even with huge rubber like this, it scrambles desperately for traction with the magic "M" button switched on to calm the amount of intervention from stability systems. But it's easy to rein in thanks to superb balance and a firm suspension set-up.
In standard mode, there's dynamic stability control, ABS, anti-slip control, dynamic brake control and cornering brake control. Combine this with 360mm and 350mm drilled and ventilated brake rotors and M-spec four-pot calipers, and the 1M stops flat and quickly.
The front end, too, has been designed without compromise - it's the first of many BMWs to sport "air curtains", which use two ducts to push air through the front spoiler and out two ducts before the wheels, creating a high-speed exit for wind that wraps around the arches, reducing turbulence and helping the car stay as slippery as possible.
The interior is pared back and simple - while still toting BMW's complex and often-maligned iDrive-controlled computer set-up, it feels extremely purposeful - helped no end by the deep and body-hugging race seats with 14 setting adjustments and a steering column adjustment that allows you to almost fold the stunning form of the 1M around you.
It's simply laid out and has next-gen features like iPod/iPhone integration and the ability to check email on your BlackBerry via the large, dash-mounted screen.
A stunning combination of Boston leather with orange stitching and black alcantara gives the cockpit a very "race" feel.
Overall, this car is hard to fault. For those who like a ride that's fast, engaging and occasionally terrifying, without the interruptions and distractions of many modern cars, this is like the second coming.
It's so appealing as a dynamic, uncompromising driver's car that, at $111,200, it's become the only thing on this writer's Lotto list that doesn't come with a string of zeroes.
