It is a ludicrous statement, even allowing for the Top Gear trio's penchant for hyperbole - but it also piques our interest in the car.
The sixth-generation 3 Series was launched here in 2012 and now mid-way through its life cycle, BMW New Zealand has put out a refreshed version of the 320d Sport Edition sedan, costing $76,900. The price includes as standard a heads-up windscreen display, steering wheel gearshift paddles, Bi-Xenon headlights, and proximity key.
We have begun driving the Sport Edition over a full range of roads, from State Highway 1 to winding coastal secondary routes, mostly north of Auckland.
We will describe what the twin power turbo diesel-engined Sport Edition is like to live with, how the car fits into the garage, how practical it is, explain what the car's vaunted extra connectivity delivers, and how reliable the car turns out to be over three months and several thousands of kilometres.
The Sport Edition is 10mm lower than other 3 Series models.
Customers spending this sort of money should expect a high level of comfort, performance and reliability. If I get carried away, more experienced Driven colleagues will bring their perspective and balance to the discussion.
Much of the driving will involve a 400km weekly commute between the Herald's Auckland office and the Whangarei Heads, 16km east of Whangarei. This usual Monday ritual involves a start before sunrise on relatively empty open roads. The return journey, on Friday, is on the more usual over- crowded roads teeming with rush-hour commuters.
We picked up the car with 211km on the speedo, a full tank of diesel, and that unique new-car aroma. The car has leather seats, with the front pair easily adjusted to suit. For winter driving they are heated.
This latest version of the 3 Series was introduced in 2012, and most of the styling changes were relatively subtle, including extending the headlights so they touch the trademark twin-kidney BMW grill.
The changes refined and stretched the overall look of the car, which now appears sleeker and longer than earlier models.
The Sport Edition sits on 19-inch run-flat tyres, and our model is fitted with M-Sport suspension, which includes a stiffer spring/damper set-up. The car is 10mm lower on the road than other 3 Series models.
Our introduction to the silver BMW proved to be something of a test of this arrangement, because our initial drive north morphed into a four-hour driving marathon.
It was a Friday afternoon and followed an almost two-hour briefing about the car at BMW's New Zealand headquarters in Mt Wellington. Straight on to the Southern Motorway we ran into the usual afternoon peak traffic jam as we edged towards the central city.
But this was not the usual Friday afternoon congestion - once in town crawling traffic ground to a halt in Nelson St to make way for a motorcade carrying Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper.
On the Northern Motorway traffic again ground to a halt, as two police cars and an ambulance forced a gap between the lanes to reach a fatal accident north of Sunset Rd.
Although the current 3 Series is a common sight on our roads, this day the car drew envious stares from fellow commuters crawling north with nothing better to do than look at their surroundings.
And there are worse fates than being trapped in a traffic jam sitting in a 3 Series BMW - there are the leather seats, dual-control air conditioning, a sophisticated i-drive car computer system, and of course a robust sound system.
Forty minutes of slow crawl got us to the accident scene, and as often happens with traffic jams, the road opened up almost immediately in front of us.
This first trip was fun from then on, apart from the usual choke points of Warkworth and Wellsford, and the slowish run through the Dome Valley. There was a quick run over the twisty Brynderwyns, and enough open road beyond to use the adaptive cruise control to Whangarei.
Four hours after setting off, I was ready to give my backside a break.
We'll explore the car and its high-tech features in more detail in future pieces,
We achieved fuel consumption of 6 litres per 100km on our initial 193km journey from Mt Wellington to Whangarei Heads, some way off the target of 4.5 litres per 100km.
The precision of the GPS system threw up a last-minute surprise - it is so detailed it showed my home driveway on the central screen, literally leading to the front door.
