Bevan Rapson: Go Switzerland... oh, hold on, it's those Tongan fullas

A sea of Tongan rugby fans greet their team at Auckland International Airport. Photo / Brett Phibbs

If the World Cup festivities weren't meant to begin in earnest until tonight's opening, someone obviously forgot to tell the Tongans.

Swarming to the airport in their thousands to welcome their team, they kick-started the event into life four days early. They've been painting the town red ever since, whetting the appetite for what lies ahead.

We happened to land in Auckland ourselves a few hours after that initial Tongan welcome, ran into residual traffic jams and followed a trail of red balloons and flags all the way into the city, although there was a moment of confusion in the back seat, from where an excited voice declared, "Go Switzerland!"

Watching the arrival scenes on television later, there was no mistaking this crowd for Swiss.

Big, brown and boisterous, they turned on a welcome that seemed to surprise even the Tongan team.

It also surprised TV3's John Campbell, who, without pausing to borrow Mike McRoberts' safari suit and flak jacket, waded into the crowd to deliver some remarks to the camera.

Within moments, his increasingly anxious visage was obscured by brown forearms as a rolling maul of women closed around him.

Kissed, hugged, tugged this way and that - at one point clad in a fetching red feather lei and fedora - he was a pale stick of flotsam on a Tongan tide and uncharacteristically lost for words. "What do you say? What do you say?" he spluttered beseechingly, like a masochist who had forgotten his safe-word. Soon after, he confessed, "I'm not man enough."

Priceless entertainment, without a rugby ball in sight. Tonight's opening ceremony will have to be good to beat it.

Tongan captain Finau Maka stepped forward to agree that he was looking forward to tonight "and hopefully coming out on top", the latter point accompanied by a broad grin in keeping with the lighthearted mood.

But Tonga have the players to do better than in previous tests against the All Blacks. Some All Black fans may even be nervous that Daniel Carter will suffer Campbell's fate: the little white guy overwhelmed by Tongan physicality.

Carter is tougher than the soft-focus undie ads would suggest - but the match promises to be both a physical battle and a showcase of rugby talent, not all of it clad in black.

I admit to being underwhelmed when this opening match-up was announced, but after this week's turn-out by Tongan Auckland, it looks like being an inspired decision.

The haka and sipi tau will be spine-tingling, the rugby full-on. And the crowd? Ready to celebrate, Tongan-style, whatever happens on the field.

Should Tonga score, TV presenters are advised to stand well clear.