Best mate pays living tribute to Hopa

By Philippa Stevenson

GORDONTON - Death would not stop Aaron Hopa being close to his second god-daughter - not if his best mate, Matt Barlow, had anything to do with it.

Named Aaria in his memory and just half an hour old, she was laid, in a car seat, on the late All Black's month-old grave.

"He was the first person after us to hold her," Mr Barlow said yesterday at home in Gordonton, north of Hamilton, with his partner, Sandra Turner.

She gave birth there about 5.30 pm on January 5 with help from Mr Barlow and a midwife.

By 6 pm, the couple, whose family also include Paul, aged 8, and toddler Kara, had driven 5km to the tiny Gordonton Cemetery, where they found Aaron's father, Ray Hopa, watering a kauri tree planted in his son's memory.

Twenty months ago, Mr Barlow had also helped to deliver Kara at home. The first person he called with the news was his lifelong friend, who arrived promptly to cuddle his first god-daughter.

But the man Kara called uncle died on December 8 while completing a diving course off Coromandel with fellow members of the Waikato rugby team.

For a grieving Mr Barlow, the death does not seem real. Aaron could be away overseas and walk in the door any minute, he said.

And after 25 years as mates - through good times from kindergarten to work, and bad times such as Mr Barlow losing a leg in a motorcycle accident - he was not about to let the bond break when a new child needed a guiding presence.

"Ray must have wondered what was going on," Mr Barlow said.

"I skirted round him carrying Aaria in the car seat. If he had seen her he would have wanted to hold her and I wanted Aaron to be first after us."
Ray and Vera Hopa understood.

The naming of Aaria in their son's honour is one of the many things that have helped them to cope since Aaron's death.

The Hopa family have placed a memorial notice in the New Zealand Herald today to thank "family, whanau, friends and the many rugby supporters for the expressions of aroha and support for our gentle giant."

The family told the Herald the overwhelming support from people nationwide had helped them enormously.

"We were not aware of how many lives Aaron touched. To the family, Aaron was always a wonderful person, son and brother, but the support has truly shown that Aaron was far more than that. He was a sportsman, a mentor, an idol, a role model, a friend."

The family plan to donate a trophy to the Waikato Rugby Union to commemorate Aaron.

There will also be living memorials: the kauri, a totara planted at the Hopa home - and Aaria.