Being a good boss

By ASHLEY CAMPBELL

Certain behaviours can be the result of earlier events, says Kevin Warwood, Toastmasters' Auckland Division Governor, and can't be taken in isolation. If someone is snapping, it may be because they may have just emerged from traffic or had a row with their spouse in the morning.

"Step back and take a deep breath," says Warwood. "What I do is step up beside the person and then in a low voice say 'What was all that for?' More often than not the person will apologise, bring themselves back to the present and you can start again."

People respond differently

"It's part of a manager's responsibility to know the people working for them," says Warwood. "When you understand how people respond to pressure and different stimuli, then it's much easier to communicate with them."

Give people the benefit of the doubt

If you react badly to something that's said, "stop and take a deep breath and say 'I understand where this person's coming from, the background of why they are doing that"'.

It may take a bit of practice, Warwood says, but if the purpose of communication is to connect, it may be practice you need.

People do the best they can with the resources they have

Don't expect people to understand all you understand, or do all you can do with limited resources, says Warwood. "They might need a more stimulating environment, they might need more tools to get the job done." Find out what it is they need.

Change your state of mind

Prepare yourself to communicate. Put out of your mind what you were dealing with an hour ago or what you will be dealing with tomorrow. Be positive and expect the communication to succeed.

There are always two sides

The manager's side usually wins, but that doesn't mean it's always the right one. Listen to the other side, says Warwood. And "set your communication up in a manner that the other person's going to understand".

The response will either be helpful or a cry for help

You drop a folder on an employee's desk saying "Can you deal with this". They say either "Sure" (helpful) or "But I've got so much on." That's a cry for help.

Don't answer a cry for help with a cry for help

Responding with "I've got a million other things to deal with, sort it out yourself", isn't going to help. Saying "Well, let's take a look at your priorities" is.

Don't make up meanings

"A lot of times somebody will say something to you and you'll walk away thinking 'What did he really mean by that?"' says Warwood. You'll start imagining meanings in your head and the next time you communicate you'll be on your guard. Just don't do it. If you think there's something else happening, ask. Or let it go.

Don't assume things are happening

If you think something's going on you need to know about, ask.


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