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Home / New Zealand

Beehive Diaries: What's driving Simon Bridges' makeover and long hair?

Claire Trevett
By Claire Trevett
Political Editor, NZ Herald·NZ Herald·
13 Aug, 2021 07:00 AM3 mins to read

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Simon Bridges and Judith Collins dance up a storm at the National Party conference. Please note: Footage supplied and subject to copyright
Claire Trevett
Opinion by Claire Trevett
Claire Trevett is the New Zealand Herald’s Political Editor, based at Parliament in Wellington.
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Simon Bridges is growing his hair, and has put himself on a vegan diet. What is going on?

Tuesday: The makeover of Simon Fabio Bridges

In the spirit of National's determination to focus on things that matter, Beehive Diaries investigated Simon Bridges' hair.

Bridges has grown his hair to what we could describe as a corporate mullet. There have been mixed verdicts. Some (Bridges) have pointed to Italian model Fabio.

We are at the less enthusiastic end of the verdict scale, and may have peppered Bridges with photos of used car salesmen and The Castle's Darryl Kerrigan.

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Fabio or Darryl Kerrigan? Simon Bridges shows off his hair. Photo / Greg Bowker
Fabio or Darryl Kerrigan? Simon Bridges shows off his hair. Photo / Greg Bowker

The hair appears to be part of a wider makeover by Bridges. Bridges has also been on a diet, cutting out meat, dairy, sugar and all things nice. He has lost 5kg and is aiming for 10kg.

It may have something to do with a book launch next week, but there have been numerous theories on the hair. Was it an effort to get the Samsonite strength required to topple Collins and reclaim his throne?

Was it a coup alert system so that when the hair goes, we all know he's running? A similar theory swirled after former Labour leader David Cunliffe grew a beard once. It was relatively accurate.

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Beehive Diaries asked Bridges, who said he was growing it "because I can, I am able to these days, and I like it". Bridges pointed out British PM Boris Johnson had an eclectic hair do, and it had not harmed him. He was not so keen on the alternative comparison with former US President Donald Trump.

The only thing that can stop Bridges reaching KISS hair-level, it seems, is Tauranga.

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"There will come a point when it will become unacceptable to most of my constituents, and I will need a haircut," Bridges said. "But we haven't reached that yet."

Citizens of Tauranga, rise up!

Wednesday: National's own Secret Agent Man

Act and National have a never-ending battle to be the first to issue a clever line or response on an issue, often leading to accusations of copy-cat behaviour.

Act got some evidence when leader David Seymour held a press conference on Covid-19 on the black and white tiles at Parliament, where media standups are often held.

Act Party leader David Seymour speaks to media on the black and white tiles at Parliament. Photo / Mark Mitchell
Act Party leader David Seymour speaks to media on the black and white tiles at Parliament. Photo / Mark Mitchell

As Seymour spoke, National's chief press secretary John Mitchell could be seen hiding behind a nearby pillar, listening in.

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Mitchell might need to work on his disguise – it was more Maxwell Smart than Ethan Hunt.

There are a number of large pot plants in the vicinity for future use, Mitchell.

Thursday: Odds on the cycle bridge?

Opposition MPs are getting creative in their attempts to get a Government minister to confirm the Auckland cycle bridge has been scrapped.

Act MP Damien Smith pitched a question about the operations of the TAB to Racing Minister Grant Robertson.

His follow-up question was whether the TAB would be offering odds on the construction of the cycle bridge, or even a multi-bet on both the Auckland cycle bridge and light rail.

Alas, the Speaker ruled it out of order.

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