Iggy and his pop Barry Soper. Soper had multiple complications after his triple bypass. Photo / Michael Craig
Late last year Barry Soper was in an induced coma at Auckland Hospital and his wife — Newstalk ZB radio host and Herald columnist Heather du Plessis-Allan — was starting to plan his funeral.
He’d suffered heart failure, multiple operations and organ failure. The veteran broadcaster — father of their 2-year-old son Iggy as well as five adult children — was so critically ill she did not expect him to recover.
The 72-year-old Soper is no stranger to death. His youngest brother, Paul, was killed on the motorcycle Soper bought for his 16th birthday. Older brother Lenny, 46, died from lung cancer. Dad Leonard died at 59 and his mum, Doreen, who Soper was “especially close to”, died aged 79.
“I’ve seen a lot of death. But I never thought I’d die, even though I was as sick as I was.”
On the day of Soper’s sixth operation in December, his oldest sister, Lynda, died from a short illness a week before her 73rd birthday. He wrote a eulogy in his hospital bed that his eldest son Henry delivered at her funeral in Blenheim. Du Plessis-Allan took the day off work and the couple watched the funeral being live-streamed.
“I still haven’t had the chance to grieve, but I think about her a lot. Lynda was a smoker and never gave up.”
Soper’s own brush with death came on suddenly: he became short of breath one September morning while walking around Freeman’s Bay with Iggy — a daily ritual for the father and son. Du Plessis-Allan insisted he see a doctor and the cardiologist revealed his aortic artery was 90 per cent blocked. He needed surgery immediately.
What followed was three months of trauma for Newstalk’s senior political correspondent: a triple bypass, a cardiac arrest, multiple infections, organ failure and an induced coma when sepsis crept in, leaving him fighting for his life in intensive care.
“One doctor told me it was one of the most complicated cases he’d come across. The triple bypass was an absolute shock to me. After the operation I went to the loo and collapsed — technically died — and needed CPR. They broke my sternum and that led to infections and complications. I had a pacemaker put in, three months in hospital and six operations later here I am.”
The medication played havoc with his mind, causing paranoia and confusion.
“I had the weirdest dreams. I thought I was in South Africa ... and the nurse was leaking information about me. When you look back you realise how nutty you go.”
Soper lost about 15kg. He couldn’t drink water. Frustrated from sucking on crushed ice for two months, he fantasised about tucking into a big juicy steak. Once he was discharged from hospital, he had to learn how to eat again.
He has advice for others: “Men of my age need a check-up every year. You’re happy to do it for your car, so do it for yourself.”
Soper credits his life to his wife for insisting he see a doctor, and the dedicated professionals at Mercy and then Auckland Hospital who cared for him.
“They were amazing. Every time I went to the loo, I’d have to move the whole room because there were so many tubes and stuff attached to me ... You notice the staff shortages and realise there is a health crisis and they’re really stretched.”
Former TVNZ current affairs executive producer and close friend Mike Valintine (who is also the writer’s husband) visited Soper often.
When he was in a coma, Valintine talked to him about what was happening in the news. Most days he sat quietly holding Soper’s hand.
“One time when I was with Baz, he opened his eyes and put his hand in mine. When I told him it was Valenti, a wee tear appeared in his eye, probably frustrated he couldn’t tell me to ‘f*** off’. Baz is a dear mate, we’ve been through a lot: many marriages, divorces and deaths. We have fierce debates and laugh about it later.”
The pair have been friends for more than 50 years — since they were newspaper cadets and rivals in Dunedin. They later joined TVNZ where they competed fiercely for stories by day, then socialised together after work at Avalon’s bar or bar 3.2 in the Beehive.
Between visits, the pair would text. Some of Soper’s were nonsensical, written under the influence of drugs and morphine. Others continued long-standing jokes between the pair, reassuring Valintine that beneath all the tubes and lines his old friend remained.
Soper: “Just went for my second walk today, piece of piss — and I had to carry it.”
Valintine: Hi Baz, just checking to see how you are.
Soper: Dead.
“Mike came to visit me in hospital nearly every day ... It’s times like this you know who your friends are,” Soper said.
Valintine had been there the day Soper’s chest became inflamed and infected.
“The doctor pressed on his chest and pus gushed everywhere. The worst part was looking at the surgeon’s face and seeing how distressed they were, Baz was oblivious to it as the pus ran down his stomach.
Soper has little recollection of what he’s been through — and none of du Plessis-Allan planning his funeral.
“My lovely wife is a strong woman, very pragmatic and organised. After CPR I had technically died and the surgeon rang her to say, ‘Barry might not make it today’.”
The couple met in 2007 when she worked in the press gallery for Radio Live. She was 23, and he was 55. They married in 2009 and on February 26, 2020, their son Iggy Finbar Ignatius Pieter du Plessis-Soper was born thanks to IVF.
Hospital breathing tubes and multiple lines proved a parenting challenge: Soper says he physically couldn’t keep Iggy, a “mini cyclone”, under control.
“There were so many bloody tubes he could’ve got tangled up in so I showed him my chest and explained, ‘this is Daddy’s ‘Owie’, so he knows he can’t jump up and down on me. It was hard not being able to play with him or hold him. He probably thought I was a bit of a stranger, but it didn’t take long for him to bounce back. We’re old cobbers again now .... I love being with him.”
It’s an afternoon in late autumn when Soper arrives home from work on his electric bike. The septuagenarian is relaxed and elegantly dressed in a camel and blue checked blazer, chinos and trainers.
At the doorway of their freshly painted Freemans Bay bungalow, Soper hollers, “MALO MAMAKOO WAWALOOOO”, a made-up language he shares with Iggy.
Iggy runs into his father’s arms.
“Iggy loves it when I talk to him in Pidgin. His nanny talks to him in Punjabi all day. He is getting the best of both worlds. When Iggy becomes an Indian cricketer he’ll speak the local lingo and make a fortune.”
Surviving a near-death experience has given Soper a chance to reflect on life. His main regret is getting married “too young and too often”.
“I should have maybe waited, but then I have these beautiful children who I love dearly, each and every one of them.”
His five adult children are from two previous marriages. Kate is the eldest at 41, followed by Hannah, Alice, Henry. The youngest of the “adult kids” is Hugh, 28. And Soper is also a grandfather: Iggy has two 6-year-old nieces and two toddler nephews.
When his time comes, Soper wants to be remembered as a “good bloke”. His aim is to be around for Iggy’s 20th birthday.
He hasn’t ruled out being a father for the seventh time.
“Heather is a great mother ... but time will tell. We are here for a certain time and now the years I’ve been given, I will enjoy, hopefully that will be a long time. I will be an old man, but I would like to see Iggy when he is 20. He fills my heart with great love and pleasure. I’ve always said never lose the child in you, it’s always been in me and that’s why I enjoy life as much as I have.”
Carolyne Meng-Yee is an Auckland- based investigative journalist. She worked for the Herald on Sunday in 2007 and joined he Herald in 2016. She was previously a commissioner at TVNZ and a current affairs producer for 60 Minutes, 20/20 and Sunday.
'You don’t want to be doom and gloom your whole life. That's just a miserable way to live'