Barry Soper: Politicians live to prance another day on Dancing with the Stars

It conjured up images of the back country farmer, early in the morning, hand firmly pressed to the small of his stiff back bending over the crank handle of the old Massey Ferguson and painfully trying unsuccessfully to kick it into action.

After the third go the old girl splutters, chugging forward with brief bursts of life, before finally giving up the ghost and fading, defeated.

That's what I could see when I was watching the ever so earnest ACT leader David Seymour on telly last night in Dancing with the Stars. In reality the stars are the professional dancers trying to coax their charges through an unfamiliar routine, dragging them around the floor while those of us anxiously await the final note.

Dancing for politicians should surely be above and beyond the call of duty. In this current round they're obviously doing it for the publicity, hoping that it'll rub off on their failing, or failed political careers.

You could feel for Seymour, each painful step he dragged himself through. This self- confessed nerd apparently draws up a step plan on his computer and like the engineer he is, executes it with what his mind tells him is precision but what we see as an out of control clodhopper.

It's cringeworthy watching his furrowed brow concentrating, trying to follow what to our ear is music but to his is obviously a cacophony. Still at least he didn't spear tackle his dance partner, like the former Act leader Rodney Hide did.

And he's not nearly as confident as the other politician, or more correctly former politician on the show Marama Fox. This former co-leader of the Maori Party took Parliament by storm in 2014 and was gone three years later.

Fox, like her dancing, certainly made her presence felt. Right from the start when she was videoed meeting her professional dance partner declaring him a "skinny little white boy" when she'd requested a Maori, Polynesian or Black dancer "because they've got rhythm."

This week she declared her skinny little white boy can dance. It seems her problem is that she finds it hard to take instruction, which is a pity although she maintains she listened to the judges when she was told to keep her legs together.

"I need to keep my legs together more often, I've had nine children and I should have learnt that a long time ago, sometimes I just can't help myself" she observed after getting another pasting from the judges and the lowest score.

When she does get voted off, it could be nasty, given her reaction to her party's election defeat last year. Fox said New Zealand had voted for a return to the age of colonisation.

But the agony's not over yet, they both live to prance another day.