Barry Soper: Conspiracy theories run up the flagpole

New Zealand First Party list MP Mahesh Bindra outside the Sikh temple in New Lynn. Photo / Dean Purcell

Opinion

Something must have seeped into the Beehive water over the past 24 hours judging by all the conspiracy theories and secret squirrel talk going on.

The first theory came from the man who's learnt politics at knee of his political mentor and conspiratorial professor, Winston Peters.

Mahesh Bindra is virtually unheard of around Parliament, but he's on the payroll as a New Zealand First MP. This is the man who for a time refused to give his occupation before entering the hallowed halls because he thought it would in some way compromise him. He was a corrections office.

Now Bindra believes the Electoral Commission has deliberately worded the flag referendum to favour the new, Kyle Lockwood design - the one his boss Peters hates. The Hindi translation of the options apparently says to tick the flag they want to be the 'new', New Zealand flag. Not the old flag, the new one, a small difference Bindra believes could have a big impact on the hundred thousand Kiwis who speak Hindi.

It seems to me that despite the fact that he's not crediting Hindi speakers with much intelligence, at least if they do go for the new one, their taste is unquestionable. Now that's biased, but it's just my opinion!

The old flag was flying out the front of Parliament yesterday alongside the Stars and Stripes, which got me thinking. Was there an important American in the House that they hadn't told us about? They were keeping the secret under wraps, no one was talking, but the code was finally cracked and they fessed up.

It was the man who lives in shadow of J Edgar Hoover no less, someone who most of us had never heard of - James Comey, FBI chief for the past 18 months. The official line is he's here to "share critical information that will safeguard Americans and New Zealanders from global threats."

More likely he was casing the joint in advance of a possible visit by John Key's golfing buddy Barak Obama, who's keen as mustard to again pit his 18 Presidential handicap against our PM's 11. There just happens to be an unusually long four week recess in July/August that would fit the Presidential bill, although if it happens the cost will be picked up by the taxpayer.

The final conspiracy theory to emerge yesterday was the review of our spy agencies, which if implemented would be the end of the world as know it - if you listen to the Greens. In reality, without it, it most certainly could lead to something that bad.