Balancing act in new-age weddings

Men are losing one of their traditional sources of dominance in marriage - older age.

Statistics New Zealand says older men marrying younger women have dropped from 78 per cent of all marriages 40 years ago, to 65 per cent today.

In the same period, older women marrying younger men have almost doubled from 13 to 25 per cent.

The balance of about 10 per cent throughout the period were the same age when they married.

Hilary Smith, of Relationship Services, said the figures showed that the chances of powerful men picking up younger women were dwindling - and the chances of powerful women picking up younger men were rising.

"The workplace is one of the places that people meet partners. You have the old stereotype of the boss marrying his secretary," she said.

"The movement of women into more senior positions in the workplace creates more opportunities for a more powerful woman to be present there for someone to admire."

The figures show that the average age gap between bride and groom narrowed from 2.66 years in 1963 to 1.94 years in 2003.

Christchurch couple Amy and Joe Evans, who married last month, were born within two months of each other 30 years ago. Most of their friends have linked up with others of the same age.

"Maybe it's still the case that there is a trend to meet people through your peer group, especially now, I think," Amy Evans said.

"You meet friends through friends, so you often do find people of the same age group.

"We both had a big group through school and university. Everyone went overseas and did their things overseas but stayed in contact.

"We stayed in contact, but we didn't start seeing each other till we were back in New Zealand."

The couple are typical of their generation in marrying later than their parents. In the 30 years to 2001, the median age of first marriages rose from 23 to 29 for men, and from 21 to 28 for women.

Ms Smith said this probably helped both partners to look for someone about the same age.

"As you mature, you are probably looking for different things in a partner," she said.

"People marrying older have become more independent, so you are less likely to be looking at a partner as someone to look after you and much more likely to be looking at a partner as someone to actually be your partner."

Marriage gap

The average age gap between bride and groom

1963 - 2.66 years.

2003 - 1.94 years