Arvin and Abegail Chua's son Sebby was a bright, active and happy 4-year-old when he died of complications from tonsillitis. Video / NZ Herald
Her name means sunlight, and that’s what Abegail and Arvin Chua’s unborn baby girl is bringing to their lives 15 months after the sudden death of their treasured elder son.
The Naenae couple and their 3-year-old son Sedric will tomorrow mark their second Christmas without son and brother Sebastian, who died just five days after falling ill in September last year.
The couple believe opportunities to save their son’s life were missed at both Kenepuru and Wellington Hospitals, and a complaint to the Health and Disability Commissioner is still under investigation.
Life today was about “moving forward” after Sebby’s death, helped both by their surviving son and the new baby they’ve already named Solene, which means sunlight, solemn and religious, the couple said.
“Our daughter’s arrival for us signifies new hope, faith and peace despite all the struggles we have in losing our firstborn.”
They were trying their best to be “happy and functional” for Sedric and their baby-on-the-way, but it was hard.
Weeks before his death, Sebby had asked for a baby sister - a request that was now a bittersweet memory, along with Christmases past when their little family were whole.
“Last year was really tough as it is really strange to celebrate without Sebby. Although Sedric is the reason we still have our pieces together, Solene [has] added hope and keeps us living each day.
“Our kids are our reason for moving forward each day and our faith that we will meet Sebby again in God’s due time.”
Abegail, Arvin and Sedric Chua, 3, are looking forward to the birth of a baby girl, 15 months after the death of their son and brother, Sebby. Photo / Mark Mitchell
They used the phrase “moving forward” rather than “moving on” as the latter was impossible after the death of a child, the couple said.
“No one can really just leave their love and memories for their child behind and forget. Every day, we move forward and carry those precious memories and love for our Sebby.”
Abegail and Arvin Chua with Sedric (left) and Sebby, before Sebby's death weeks before he was due to start school last year.
Their new daughter is due on January 16, with her arrival eagerly anticipated by Sedric, who was giving “lots of random kisses to his mummy’s baby bump”.
“He never goes to sleep without hugging mummy’s tummy and saying, ‘I love my baby’.”
Their younger son, who was 21 months old when Sebby died, still called out for his brother.
“We feel sad most of the time when we see him playing alone, mentioning or calling out his brother’s name, or when he’s so excited to see other kids because of his longing for his big brother.
“Having Solene gives him joy and excitement in having an additional member of the family.”
Their unborn baby girl has given them hope after the loss of son Sebby last year, but their boy can never be replaced, say Abegail and Arvin Chua - pictured with surviving son Sedric, 3. and a special pillow showing Sebby's image. Photo / Mark Mitchell
Their friends and wider family were also excited about the imminent arrival, although they sometimes had to be gently reminded “she doesn’t replace what’s gone”, they said.
“Sebby is forever in our hearts and no one can ever replace his place. We believe that each child has a very special irreplaceable place in their parent’s heart.
“Sometimes, we wish and pray that Solene will be exactly the same like Sebby, although we know that it can’t be. We are here to love and care for who Solene is, 100 per cent.”
Cherie Howie is an Auckland-based reporter who joined the Herald in 2011. She has been a journalist for more than 20 years and specialises in general news and features.
