Husband and wife Lesley Elliott, 62, and Richard Elliott, 70, were diagnosed with breast cancer just over a year apart in 2015/16 - Richard being a much rarer case of male breast cancer.
Sharp-eyed visitors might notice something a bit different about the ribbon at Lesley and Richard Elliott’s Pink Ribbon Breakfast breast cancer fundraiser this month.
The married couple are both breast cancer survivors and their ribbon at the May 25 morning tea for 40 friends to help raise fundsfor Breast Cancer Foundation NZ will show it. Their adult daughter had done a poster showing the pink ribbon with a dash of blue “just for me”, Richard Elliott said.
“I know the ribbon is a registered insignia and everything like that, but she did do a little bit in blue for us.”
The North Shore couple, who also have an adult son, were diagnosed with breast cancer just over a year apart.
Lesley was among the more than 3300 New Zealand women diagnosed with breast cancer each year when she was found to have the disease in late 2015, but Richard was part of a much smaller group of about 25 Kiwi men a year found to have breast cancer when he received his diagnosis.
“[When I went for the results] Lesley and I had swapped chairs because we had the same doctor. The first time I realised what was happening was when he said, ‘Well, I’ve never had a husband and wife both for breast cancer before – so that’s how I knew I had it.
“It’s quite extraordinary that we’d both got it.”
Fifteen months earlier, it had been Lesley, a Glenfield College attendance officer and school nurse, receiving the life-changing news after a routine mammogram at 54 detected cancer in her breast duct tissue (ductal carcinoma in-situ).
“There were no lumps or bumps, and that’s why I really promote any kind of awareness, because I had no idea that I had a problem … the earlier your diagnosis, the better the outcome.
“When I was diagnosed nine years ago, the statistic was one in 10 women will get breast cancer. Now that it’s one in nine, I’ve realised if there’s a way of raising more funds for research, it’s important to do it.”
Her cancer was 40mm in size and a high-grade triple negative, but early detection meant chemotherapy wasn’t needed.
After a partial mastectomy, she received radiation treatment for three years and has since been given the all-clear.
“I came off pretty lightly with that because, if you have to have chemo, that’s a much more invasive kind of treatment. And that’s what Richard had to have because his was found later.”
Doctors told the couple Richard probably had the disease before his wife but it had gone undetected.
Richard Elliott, diagnosed with breast cancer a year after his wife, Lesley, had a message for “all the men yawning in the background” at breast cancer fundraisers: you can get the disease too. Photo / Sylvie Whinray
Men are not eligible for publicly funded mammograms, which are available to women every two years from the age of 45.
Instead, the then-64-year-old’s diagnosis came after a doctor spotted his “slightly inverted” left nipple during a mole check, Richard said.
“I had a friend who was diagnosed with melanoma, on his back. So Lesley … said, ‘you better get checked as well’ … the doctor took one look at my nipple and said, ‘You better have a scan’.”
Within a week of his mammogram, scan and biopsy, he was being told he had breast cancer in the form of a 32mm infiltrating ductal carcinoma.
“It was in the shape of a dumbbell behind my nipple, and I could actually feel it [once I knew it was there].”
After a mastectomy and the removal of 16 lymph nodes, Richard began several months of chemotherapy, including four doses of a particularly strong version called AC – also known in some countries as the “Red Devil”, he said.
“I used to call it my pinot noir with the questionable heritage and the awful hangover. Well, you’ve got to be positive, don’t you?”
Radiation treatment followed, after which he was put on the hormone treatment tamoxifen, a “horrible drug” with side-effects including hot flushes, loss of libido and brain fog. He remains on it seven years later.
Although treatment was something he “knew I just had to go through, and that was it”, it took time to accept he’d been diagnosed with a cancer that predominantly affected women. He met no other men with the disease during his treatment.
“Originally I didn’t really want to accept I had breast cancer, because there’s that kind of ‘I’m a bloke. Blokes don’t have breasts, we don’t get breast cancer.’
“I didn’t call it breast cancer for the first month or so. I called it chest cancer. I know it’s silly, but it’s kind of a psychological thing.”
Married couple Richard and Lesley Elliott were among the around 25 men and 3300 women diagnosed with breast cancer in New Zealand each year. Photo / Sylvie Whinray
Now, when the retired former principal architect and director of Babbage Consultants attends breast cancer awareness events, he has a message for “all the men yawning in the background”.
“I usually stand up and say, ‘All right, guys, you better listen up because it’s not just women [who get breast cancer], it’s men as well. All of a sudden, there’s a look of shock.
“It’s important to get that message out.”
Tens of thousands of Kiwis will host special events in their homes, workplaces and communities for the foundation’s Pink Ribbon Breakfast this month and next, with money raised going towards the charity’s life-saving work in education, research, advocacy and patient support.
“Our vision is to see zero deaths from breast cancer and it’s only thanks to wonderful fundraisers like Lesley that we can work towards this ambitious goal”, foundation chief executive Ah-Leen Rayner said.
“Breast cancer takes the lives of too many New Zealanders – around 650 across the country die from it every year. Hosting a Pink Ribbon Breakfast is a way people can help to change this, and it’s not too late for more kind-hearted Kiwis to sign up.”
Cherie Howie is an Auckland-based reporter who joined the Herald in 2011. She has been a journalist for more than 20 years and specialises in general news and features.
