Iraena Asher who disappeared in Piha in October 2004 (her body has never been recovered) and her dad Michael Asher, whose body was found three days after disappearing on January 2, 2023. Photo / NZME
Iraena Asher who disappeared in Piha in October 2004 (her body has never been recovered) and her dad Michael Asher, whose body was found three days after disappearing on January 2, 2023. Photo / NZME
The Asher whānau - grieving the death of Michael Pikikotuku Asher - say their perception of police has “somewhat improved” since Iraena Asher went missing nearly 20 years ago.
The tangi for Michael, 73, was held earlier this month after he disappeared from his west Auckland home late last year. His body was found in bushes in Glen Eden on January 2, 2023 and he is believed to have died from a heart attack.
His daughter Angelique Asher thanked friends and the wider whānau for their support.
Iraena’s body was never found after she disappeared in 2004. Police were criticised at the time for not taking her emergency call for help seriously, and sending her a taxi instead of a patrol car.
Angelique told RNZ her father, called Piki by close friends and family, was “a real character”.
“He was really funny, and he was very quirky. And so everybody has been sharing stories about a lot of his humour, his quirkiness, but also his shyness and quietness.
“Those stories that have been shared and all of the laughter has been a wonderful healing and a wonderful honouring and remembering of dad.”
Piki had whakapapa to Tūhoe, Ngāti Tūwharetoa and Ngāti Pūkenga.
“With the very many years of having such deep grief for our sister Iraena, his heart was so broken from that. It seems like a horrid alignment for him to die of a heart event,” Angelique Asher said.
“And of course losing our mum three years ago - that heart of his was just so broken.”
Although he was not found alive, Angelique said it was a relief to have Piki’s body, because that closure had never come when Iraena disappeared.
In 2012 a coroner ruled Iraena was likely swept out to sea and drowned, and the police decision not to send a patrol car was a contributing factor in her death.
Police accepted those findings and later apologised.
Angelique said Piki’s disappearance was “extremely difficult ... for everybody to be taken back to that place of October 2004″ - when they were searching for Iraena.
The wait before Piki was found “felt like an age”.
“We always held hope that dad would be found alive. But the fact that he was found was a relief - and the fact that it was nothing untoward, no foul play.”
Michael Asher. Photo / Supplied
Angelique said her whānau found it much easier to work with the Waitākere police this time, than in 2004, and their perception of police had “somewhat improved”.
“Because we’re dealing with the same police station, we I suppose carry some cynicism, resentment, distrust with the police in general. But to be especially working with and having to listen to, communicate with, keep in contact with the Waitākere police, was quite triggering for a lot of our whānau.
“And I have to say, it was a significant improvement from what I can remember, and from the involvement I had at the time. This shows an improvement.”
But she said the progress now “doesn’t change how things were back in 2004″.
“It’s not brushing the brush over all of the police now, as to what happened then. That will never change - how badly they responded, and how badly they behaved and communicated with or didn’t communicate with our family.”
Angelique said her family had also changed since.
“We’ve also all grown and matured in different ways as well. And so we don’t have to hold a horribly, distrusting relationship, particularly with that police station or that police group, region anymore...
“I wouldn’t be reluctant to contact them or engage with them again like I would have been, even two months ago.”
Angelique and her two surviving sisters “really cherish” the incredible job their father did, overcoming his own struggles.
“To really improve as a father, as a parent, and give us so much more than he had. And we just really appreciate that he had to struggle through losing a child... And then he had to lose his number-one rock, which was my mother, and then continue to struggle on his own.”
In particular, Piki had reconnected with Māoritanga later in life, including tikanga and te reo, after growing up in a time when these were not acknowledged in many parts of Aotearoa, and he felt disenfranchised.
“We really honour and respect our father for having had to overcome a lot of barriers from his generation, to have the courage to do that as an older man,” his daughter said.
“We really love how our father sought that out for himself, and did his best to do that for us... It inspires all of us daughters of his to continue on in that journey.”
Angelique said Piki was a dedicated, churchgoing Christian and his whānau had comfort he was now “with the Lord”.
In a statement to RNZ, police said: “Extensive enquiries were undertaken, including utilising Search and Rescue teams, to locate Mr Asher after he was reported missing.
“Police extend our sympathies to his whānau and thoughts remain with them at this difficult time.”
