Ngati Awa kaumatua Waaka Vercoe says the loss of a child is a trauma he "would not wish on my worst enemy".
His son, 36-year-old school principal Hawea Vercoe - who had been expected to be a future leader of his people - was punched to the ground after leaving a bar in Whakatane early on Sunday.
He died shortly afterwards.
His alleged killer, Isaiah Johnson Richard Tai, appeared in Whakatane District Court yesterday amid tense and highly emotional scenes which erupted shortly after he was remanded.
Neither Mr Vercoe nor his wife, Rosalind, attended the hearing.
Mr Vercoe broke down in tears as he told how his son had a mission in life. "That was to teach children. He loved his job and he was doing it so well ... and then all of a sudden he was plucked away from us. This is a terrible trauma and one that I would not wish on my worst enemy."
Hawea Vercoe's death is particularly tragic for the couple, who lost their other son, Tamahou, at a similar age in 1994.
Asked if he could ever forgive, Mr Vercoe said that he knew the Tai family, who he said were from Waioeka in the Eastern Bay of Plenty.
"I have never held a grudge against anyone and I can see no reason why I would start now."
But earlier yesterday, the tension was palpable at the court when members of the Tai whanau tried to block reporters from entering.
The defendant, 21, stood with his head bowed when he entered the dock and stole occasional glances at a large gathering of his whanau, who had travelled from Opotiki to support him.
Some of them could be heard quietly sobbing.
Judge Paul Gagan denied a request from the defence for name suppression, saying a "significant number" of Tai's family were already at the court.
As he remanded him in custody to reappear on December 9, members of Tai's whanau rose and waved to him, saying, "We love you, brother."
This prompted an angry response from some Vercoe whanau, with one woman shouting, "Shame on you all ... It's about family, that's where it all starts."
Other whanau members at the hearing had to be restrained by court staff and police from physically lashing out at one another.
Outside the court, Tai's father said his son was "a good boy".
"These people are grieving and so am I," he said.
"He didn't purposely set out to do that like they are saying. My son is a good boy."
Hawea Vercoe's sister Moerangi Vercoe said there was anger and overwhelming pain within the whanau but their focus was on supporting his six children, the oldest of whom is 16.
Ms Vercoe was grateful Tai had been refused name suppression.
"I think this is something that no family should ever have to go through," she told reporters outside the court. "We are hopeful that justice will prevail over time."
Meanwhile, staff at Te Kura Kaupapa Maori o te Rotoiti were preparing for the return of their principal's body today.
Chairman Justin Roberts said they and the pupils were still in shock
The body will later be taken to Tuteao Marae in Te Teko for the tangi.
Mr Vercoe will be buried on Thursday at a Te Teko cemetery, near his older brother.
Angry scenes as principal's accused killer remanded in custody
Hawea Vercoe. Photo / Daily Post
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