In life, Chanelle Haffenden was an enigma. At different times in her 27 years, she had been a stripper, lived on the streets and suffered problems with mental health.
But she had a big heart filled with love for her family, says her mum Karlene Chambers, and was compassionate towards homeless people.
She also had a huge appetite to fight for a better life, illustrated when she made headlines for holding a sign asking for a job in the middle of a busy intersection.
In death, the mystery remains. A suicide note was found by her bed when she died four years ago – but now a coroner has ruled the cause of death was an accident.
Chambers told the Herald on Sunday the coroner’s findings didn’t give her peace of mind. She still believes her daughter took her own life - and says she will never be able to move on with her own life.
“You can never get over losing a child, they are not meant to go before you. Chanelle was kind and helped her friends from taking their own lives but we couldn’t help her. I believe she is watching over me and her sisters.”
Chanelle was found dead by her flatmate on June 22, 2019.
A note was found next to her, which was dated 9.10pm the previous night.
“I’m sorry. I love you mum,” Chanelle wrote. “I love my family and fur babies. I am better off trust me. I love you, Chanelle. XXX. I’ll always watch over you.”
Coroner Tracey Fitzgibbon’s findings, obtained by the Herald on Sunday this week, stated there were no injuries or diseases present that contributed to death. Forensic pathologist Dr Kilak Kesha stated: “The cause of death is classified as indeterminate or unascertained. Although toxicology testing checks for many drugs there was no identifiable cause of death.”
On June 21, 2019, Chanelle and her flatmate were drinking at their home in Riverhead. At about 9pm they went to their separate rooms. The following morning the flatmate heard Chanelle’s alarm sound. The flatmate didn’t see Chanelle in the morning and at 2pm he knocked on her bedroom door but heard no reply. He knocked again at 4pm and still there was no reply. The flatmate opened the door and saw Chanelle lying on the bed. She was unresponsive and he contacted emergency services.
The coroner said police found a handwritten suicide note located next to Chanelle. Police are satisfied there are no untoward or suspicious circumstances regarding this death and no evidence was found to indicate the involvement of any other person in the death.
The findings say a note, diary and notebook were found and examined by a police document examiner. The black diary was found with pages missing from June 18 –21. This evidence provides a direct physical link between the diary and the note.
The coroner said Chanelle had attended Waimauku Doctors since January 10, 2019. According to her medical notes she had an extensive medical history with several episodes of self-harm and attempted overdose.
She had experienced mental health issues from the age of 10 and disclosed historical sexual abuse. On June 21 Chanelle asked her mother if she could move home.
Chanelle told a friend she was suffering from endometriosis and was on the waiting list for surgery and around 9pm that night the friend received a text from her saying she loved her.
“On the basis of the available evidence, including the mental health history, I am not satisfied Chanelle’s actions were self-inflicted and amount to suicide. Although a suicide note has been found, there were other similar notes in the diary. There is nothing before me to suggest that any other person was involved or responsible for her death. Based on all the evidence, it is likely Chanelle died of an accidental overdose,” Fitzgibbon said.
In 2014 Chanelle made headlines trying to find a job. Using her last $2 from her benefit she bought a large piece of paper, wrote “Please give me a job” on it, and stood out on a busy intersection on Manukau Rd. The stunt went viral on social media and drew the attention of icecream company Nice Blocks, who offered her a job in customer services, where she stayed for two years.
Chanelle spent much of her last year alive writing a book which will be published later this year. Her mother handed the book to detectives in the hope Chanelle might get justice from beyond the grave.
The Girl With One Thousand Scars is a harrowing account of Chanelle’s troubled life. Chambers hopes the book will encourage others with mental health issues to “open up”.
“The book broke my heart to be honest, it reveals my daughter’s flaws, her frailties. One of the hardest parts of being a mother of a daughter with significant mental health issues was the feeling that I didn’t know how to help. And when I went to ask for help at the schools, the justice system, the health system - it seems only to have made matters worse. I have worked hard to overcome those bitter failures. The book is raw, but it is the truth,” Chambers said.
“We should do better than this for our tamariki so no other little girl goes through what Chanelle went through.”