There's A profession out there which pays you at best for nine months a year, more likely three to six; you are constantly set up for rejection, the pay is negligible and once you reach 40, nobody wants you.
Acting is one of the most perilous and financially unrewarding careers you can pursue, yet every year young Russell Crowes and Keisha Castle-Hughes' set out to conquer the world.
If you're lucky enough you'll have a house by the end of your career and that will only be possible if your partner has a steady job, your family has money or you had a decent run on Shortland Street.
New Zealand's acting community should get down on its collective knees and give thanks to Shortland Street.
The long-running series has given so many thespians financial respite over the years and a taste of living life like normal wage-earning workers.
For many the salary they earn on the show is the most they will ever earn - a sobering thought for young actors, many of whom think of the beloved soap as a stepping stone.
Surprisingly, some actors don't seem to feel that grateful to the show, which pays its stars thousands of dollars a week.
Veteran actor Annie Whittle said her contract there was something of a golden handcuff.
"I worked for four years at Shortland Street. It's very disciplined work, and you work like a dog. There are not [many] joyful moments.
"You work to the exclusion of everything else, working 12 hours a day, learning lines at night, and then signing autographs at the supermarket ... "
And when you leave the soap, where to from there?
Graham Dunster, from agency Auckland Actors, which represents Karl Urban and Lucy Lawless among others, says the key to getting plenty of work as a Kiwi actor is to leave the country.
"You have to leave the country, go further afield, otherwise you are always living a hand-to-mouth existence. Actors eke out a living or they have a partner who, in effect, subsidises the arts."
Kip Chapman is a young actor, who has had some good luck in the first couple of years after drama school at Unitech, including a short run on Shortland Street and a film.
In this, his fourth year out as an actor, he has had to work as a labourer and as a barman at the Silo Theatre.
Juggling part-time work and auditioning is difficult, he says.
"I had to turn down a play at the Silo this year because I could not afford to do it."
The 25-year-old is set to start rehearsing for Roger Hall's Glide Time with Theresa Healey, playing at the Maidment Theatre from June 14. He will earn $500 to $600 a week.
Chapman does not like waiting for opportunities to turn up. Rather than twiddling his thumbs waiting for audition calls, he has created his own show based on a collection of 1960s Kiwi slides.
Called Arohaotearoa, he is "taking it to people's living rooms" and to community halls.
"Acting is a passion rather than a job," says Jeff Matthews, senior financial adviser at Spicers Wealth Management. And it can end abruptly.
He says that when thespians want to start families, it can be a real crunch time for them.
"At some point you have to take stock of where you are going.
"If you have made $34,000 for four months and nothing for the rest of the year, you have not got a normal job.
"If I were the partner I would be saying that I want to be like other people," he says.
Well-known actor Peter Elliott made a difficult decision when his children were young. He took six years off acting and set up a telecommunications business, selling cellphone and video phones so he could bring in a regular income.
That was in 1988 - he didn't act again in any meaningful way until 1993/1994.
"I got out of it right through my most productive years," says the actor who, despite an ongoing struggle for a steady income, has emerged with a house in Westmere.
"It's an odd lifestyle and not particularly easy for a family. Being an actor is a single person's profession, he says wryly.
Although he is perceived as relatively successful these days, as an actor and presenter, he is endlessly grateful for the day he found a special voice-over agent. She has provided him with lucrative work. "If it were not for her, I would not be acting," he says.
The 50-year-old needs to find every conceivable avenue of revenue he can as he ages.
He says: "I can't plan for retirement. I doubt I will ever be able to retire."
There is no doubt that, as female actors grow old, the work starts drying up.
The thought of roles decreasing for the likes of Outrageous Fortune star Robyn Malcolm seems hard to believe.
Malcolm, 40, is enjoying her heyday but as an experienced actress, she is saving for the almost inevitable slow period that will follow.
"If you are a woman you have a bit of a shelf life.
"You have to be realistic about it," she says.
Malcolm has sensibly invested in some property with her partner.
" I have got to put money away. If I don't put my GST money away, I'll spend it," she says. She had to train herself to be sensible with money, she says. "It's a bit like you're a bulimic person. You binge and eat and then go on a diet and binge and eat."
When actors start to earn, they can be a bit cavalier about organising their accounts, says Spicers' Matthews.
"What often happens to the young ones when they get on Shortland Street is they go nuts and there is no one to say hold on, this is how GST works etc." says Malcolm.
After the generous weekly salary at Shortland Street, Malcolm had to amend her spending.
"I just had to resist all the things that I had gotten used to."
Malcolm is lucky that she has a partner who is a successful real estate agent.
"When you are in a relationship with somebody whose earning is more constant, then it takes the sting out of it," she says.
"I would get really bored if I had a regular income every week."
With two children aged 2 and under she is forking out for two nannies, one on location at the Outrageous Fortune set with 5-month-old Pete and another for 2-year-old Charlie at home.
Despite the obvious downsides to the profession, there are often acting families.
Dai Henwood, an enterprising entertainer is approaching his career with incredible maturity.
But then, he has learnt from his father, Ray.
Dai, is young stand-up performer who will be performing in the International Comedy Festival in May.
Earning a decent wage doing stand-up around the country and internationally, the 28-year-old is saving for a house deposit.
He made a good decision two years ago, setting up a company with his father and his mother.
He puts all his earnings into the company - he earns around $50,000 to $60,000 a year - and pays himself the same weekly wage all year round.
"I pay the bills, the rent, then I've got a bit to spare."
His mother, a judge, gave him some sage advice.
"Mum has always told me, 'make sure you marry a rich woman'," he says.
Actors and money are soon parted
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