The teacher acquitted this week of four counts of indecently assaulting schoolgirls in his care is adamant he wants to return to the job but the wounds of the past 18 months are raw.
Officially Mike Neville, 48, is still employed by a Kapiti Coast school which cannot be named because of a court order.
Mr Neville believes he was unfairly treated by police who, he says, assumed his guilt before even speaking with him last year, then ran a six-week publicity campaign to try to draw out more victims.
Surrounded by family and friends at his home outside Levin yesterday, Mr Neville recalled the day the "bombshell" hit.
On June 24 last year, his friend the school board chairman asked him to come back to the school.
"They sat me down in the principal's office and the chair said the police had been to visit. There was an allegation of I think the term was sexual impropriety.
"I couldn't speak for a few minutes. I was just completely overwhelmed," said Mr Neville, a teacher for the previous eight years at the same school.
He was told the police wanted the school to suspend him, but with no detail of what exactly he was accused of, or by whom, it was not going to do that. Instead he was to tell no one, apart from his wife, and report for work as usual the next day.
"I went home and burst in through the door. I was just sobbing, trying to get out what had happened."
Over the next few weeks the principal called the police regularly seeking updates. But nearly two months went by before anything else happened. On August 11, the board chairman rang him at home to tell him he was suspended from the next day.
Passing on that advice was the chairman's last official duty. He resigned from the board the next day on the grounds that he was Mr Neville's friend, did not agree with what was happening and wanted to support him.
Sandra Moran, the Wellington lawyer recommended by the primary teachers union, the NZ Educational Institute, took action to get Mr Neville reinstated on the grounds that no charges had been laid.
A month later, on September 9, he returned to work. By that stage rumours were rife in the small school community.
Later that month, during the school holidays, he was rung at home by a CIB detective from Levin want ing him to come into the police station to answer questions and make a statement in response to what was alleged.
On Miss Moran's advice, he declined. She then rang the detective seeking details but was told nothing.
The next morning there was a knock at the door and Mr Neville was arrested on three counts of indecent assault of three different girls, all former pupils dating back to 1999.
"I was just numb. [His wife] Adele was hysterical. I was in my dressing gown. They came into my bedroom and watched me get dressed, do my ablutions."
Mr Neville says the detective tried to play both good cop and bad cop.
"One minute it was 'We know you're a nice guy, just tell us about it', the next it was 'We know you've done it, you're just a dirty paedophile'.
"There was no videotaping, no recording, he just wrote down what he said he asked me and what I said, which was, 'I have no comment to make'." He was driven to Palmerston North, where the charges were laid. Miss Moran won suppression of his name and occupation and he was granted bail.
About a month later police laid a fourth charge and at a subsequent court appearance name suppression was lifted.
The charges meant he could talk openly to family and friends and he found everyone supportive.
"We never heard any adverse reaction. It actually drew us closer to some people [in the school community] we hardly knew before."
But the lifting of the name suppression allowed police to publicly seek more complainants through newspapers and radio broadcasts publicising an 0800 number for potential victims to call.
That aspect of the police investigation in particular still troubles Mr Neville. "Their reason was that there could have been children scattered throughout NZ. It was bollocks."
However, no further charges were laid. The trial began a fortnight ago and finished on Thursday with not guilty verdicts on all counts. Scenes of jubilation outside the Palmerston North courthouse continued long into the night at Mike and Adele Neville's home. Mr Neville said that during the trial, as the complainants gave evidence of his fondling them and touching their genitals, he tried to stay composed and listen and put aside fears that the verdicts would go against him.
He had "no idea" what the complainants thought or what motivated them and preferred not to speculate.
"Inwardly I knew my innocence so I had to believe that justice would come out but when you're dealing with a jury system you've got 12 people who've never spoken to me, don't know me, your fate's in their hands." His immediate plans are to take a break but he also wants to discuss with lawyers a complaint about the police handling of the case.
The monetary costs have been substantial but mostly covered by the union, for which he is profoundly grateful, but they pale in comparison to the emotional cost.
He has been amazed and heartened at the level of support.
"I won't let myself feel resentful or bitter or angry.
"They're emotions that eat at you and my nature is such that I'm not that sort of person."
Acquitted teacher refuses to be bitter, just wants to work
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