Abusive ex with ‘trust issues’ jailed for more than two years

Nico Wessels, 35, has been jailed for his abusive behaviour towards his ex-partner. Photo / Stock Image 123rf

WARNING: This article deals with domestic violence and may be distressing.

“You were supposed to be the one who protected me but instead you became the person I needed protecting from.”

That was what a woman tearfully told her abusive ex-partner in court today after his extreme “trust issues” saw him assault her when she denied him access to her social media.

The Christchurch District Court heard how the woman’s relationship with Nico Wessels, 35, has left her suffering from panic attacks.

“I became a prisoner in my own home, a prisoner to your abuse, manipulation and paranoia ... you isolated me and abandoned me repeatedly,” she said in an emotional victim impact statement.

The woman fell in love with Wessels but when his trust issues became apparent she began to fear for her safety.

She had to change her life to appease Wessels’ “paranoia”, including by enabling her location on her phone so he could see where she was, and sending photos of who she was with and what she was doing.

The woman feared the consequences if she didn’t respond fast enough to his messages.

“I adored you. I loved you and welcomed you into [my home]... you promised me a future that you didn’t allow me to have.”

The court heard that after Wessels and his partner separated he was served with a protection order.

Two days later, he arrived at the woman’s house and let himself in, refusing to leave when she confronted him.

The woman left the house in the hope that Wessels would go but when she returned he was still there. He then took her phone, demanding she unlock it with her fingerprint so he could look through her Snapchat.

When she refused Wessels tried to force her hands open, which she had balled into fists, in an attempt to get her fingerprint.

She fell onto the bed and rolled off the side, laying between the bed and window as Wessels stood over her and tried to prise open her fists. She kicked at him and ran away down the driveway.

Wessels followed, grabbing her face and holding it tightly while making threatening comments before leaving.

Months later Wessels sent the woman abusive Snapchat messages and made accusations against her, which she took screenshots of and sent to police.

Despite the protection order still being in force against him, Wessels again went to his ex-partner’s house.

He knocked on the bedroom window several times and then spoke to the woman through the window when she got up and opened the curtains.

Wessels became angry and accused her of being a police informant before trying to open the window which had a safety lock on it.

The woman called police but Wessels left before they arrived.

He was charged with burglary, attempting to access a computer system without authorisation, assault and two counts of contravening a protection order.

At his sentencing, Wessels attempted to talk to the woman who sat in the public gallery supported by friends.

Wessels’ lawyer Aja Trinder said the defendant was remorseful and wanted help to address his trust issues which he believed stemmed from his childhood.

Trinder asked the judge to impose a sentence of intensive supervision with judicial monitoring.

However, Judge Mark Callaghan took a different stance.

He said that Wessels’ “power and control issues” showed a complete disregard for his ex-partner’s safety.

“She was very brave in reading what she says has had long-lasting impacts on her... and I must take that into account when imposing a penalty,” the judge said.

He gave Wessels discounts for his remorse expressed in a letter he wrote to the judge, his guilty pleas and his desire to seek help.

Wessels, who was very distressed to hear he wouldn’t be getting intensive supervision, was sentenced to two years and one-month imprisonment.

He wailed as he was taken into custody to begin his sentence.