Abuse statistics demand action

Do you ever see your neighbour with puffy eyes or bruises on her arms or wrists? Do you never see your neighbour without sunglasses, even in winter and on a rainy day? Do you see your neighbour as skittish, jumpy, weak, sad or even scared to go home?

She may be a victim of domestic violence.

Most men do not abuse their partners or children. But it is a sad reality that a small number do.

Men who abuse believe they are entitled to get their own way. Their abuse is intentional behaviour, usually because they think they have the right to take control of their female partners.

They are frequently only violent in private and making their partners and families afraid of them is a common way for them to hold the power within the relationship.

This sense of entitlement enables abusive men to avoid responsibility for their actions, demonstrating that they generally have very little consideration for the feelings or wishes of their partners.

Instead, they will put the blame and responsibility for anything that goes wrong onto their partner, so justifying their actions.

Using abuse and violence is a choice, so why? Common reasons are to force someone to do something, to stop someone from doing something or to punish.

They might say to their partners: "If you loved me you would do what I want." This is never acceptable because this may lead to the partner doing something against their will or injuring themselves further.

Battered women are not the only victims of abuse. It is estimated that anywhere between 3.3 million and 10 million children witness domestic violence each year.

Exposure to violence can have serious negative effects on a child's development. Children exposed to family violence have been shown to suffer symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, such as bed-wetting or nightmares, and were at a greater risk than their peers of having allergies, asthma, gastrointestinal problems, headaches and influenza.

In 2009, 16 out of the 41 people in New Zealand who died as a direct result of domestic violence were children. When we see innocent children murdered, it is the ugliest form of abuse because they are our future and the very people we should be protecting.

It is not just adults that are abused by their partners. Physical aggression occurs in a third of teenage dating relationships. About a fifth of female high school students report being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner, and a staggering 50 to 80 per cent of teens report knowing someone involved in a violent relationship.

Abuse statistics are very alarming, and New Zealand and other countries need to take control of the situation and reduce these figures.

Domestic violence is a much bigger problem than many realise and society needs to do something about it. If you know anyone is in an abusive relationship, do not turn your back. Be supportive so they gain enough confidence to be empowered and get help.

Emma Stanford, Year 12, Pukekohe High School