A nip and a tuck to feel like a new man

JOHN WALSH looks at a trend in male fashion ... and discovers the Beckham Effect, Leg Envy, and what $13,535 will buy.

So are you at last going to get rid of that double chin? Are you brave enough to lose that network of frowning, Jeffrey Archer lines that criss-cross your forehead?

After 30 years of looking in the mirror and seeing that horrible mole disfigure your cheek, are you going to do something about it?

Yes, you are, probably. Latest reports from the cutting edge of aesthetic plastic surgery suggest that men are more prepared than ever before to adjust the look of their flesh and have bits of it sliced off, smoothed out, buffed up, tucked in and sucked away.

Plastic surgeries throughout Britain have been startled by the numbers of men coming in for consultations.

The Harley Medical Group, which has nine clinics in the UK and one in Dublin and is Britain's second biggest cosmetic surgery operation, says 40 per cent of its patients are male. And 82 per cent of them are under 30.

The archetypal plastics operation for women used to be a face-lift. But men under 30 don't need their faces lifted.

The typical male patient, says Fiona Brown, manager at HMG's Manchester clinic, is looking for something more focused.

"Younger men are worried about lines and wrinkles rather than major surgery," she says. "They're after Botox injections and collagen implants. Men have become far more image-conscious in the last few years, partly because of the rise in health and men's magazines."

Other factors that bring in new patients include the Beckham Effect - the horrible sight that greets you once you've shaved your head in a bid to look like soccer star David Beckham and you discover your ears stick out like the indicators on an old Austin A40 - and the sudden surge in male body neurosis after the summer holiday.

A third, more bizarre syndrome is Leg Envy at the start of every new football season, when men clamour for "calf implants" to make their lower halves resemble those of Leicester City mid-fielder Dennis Wise.

Apart from de-wrinkle treatments, other popular requests at surgeries are for liposuction, laser hair removal from backs and shoulders, and nose or ear re-alignment.

Is there a distinction between men feeling that they really need surgery, and men wanting it as a whim?

"We often talk people out of treatments," says Fiona Brown.

"We reject about 15 per cent. Some come in wanting a tremendous number of things altered.

"They're suffering from body dysmorphia - an obsession with your appearance.

"People like that will never be satisfied with how they look, so we can't help them.

"We often find they've never spoken to anyone before about their problems. Young men are far more secretive than women about their treatments."

And mention of male secrets brings us to the most problematic area of body re-alignment, an area of male self-esteem so crucial that it can be discussed only in awed whispers. It's penis enlargement, and, yes, chaps, it can be done.

It's one of the most-requested treatments at the clinic, although the hour-long exploratory chat in front of strangers and attendant nurses must be close to male purgatory.

Time was when plastic surgery was a rite of passage for the middle-aged, the rich and the terminally vain.

I recall the bliss of discovering, when I was working as a hospital porter in Roehampton, that F Ward was home to the chap then playing James Bond while he had his teeth capped and the bags under his eyes removed.

Back then, it was considered a rather shocking, guilty secret. Today, more equilibrial celebrities happily own up to cosmetic treatments.

Tom Jones, the evergreen Welsh belter, has had a nose job. John Cleese had the skin around his eyes done five years ago. Michael Douglas had the same treatment, and Salman Rushdie had his droopy Garfield eyebrows surgically lifted.

It will amaze nobody to learn that Cliff Richard maintains his mystifyingly smooth forehead through Botox injections ("Because of that 'Peter Pan of Pop' title, I've had something to live up to," he says).

What do you lose when you have plastic surgery? With Botox - which stands for botulism toxin - you lose wrinkles by relaxing your facial muscles.

But you also lose the ability to frown. Depending on how much you resemble W.H. Auden ("Soon," commented Igor Stravinsky, "we'll have to smooth Wystan out to see who he is"), this may not seem a bad thing.

But I think frown lines are full of character and I would hate to lose them.

And though you would never dream you could ever miss your double chin, your ant-eater nose or the random tufts of hair that frond your shoulders, it's impossible to budget for the emotional fallout of monkeying about with your body.

That's not all you will have to budget for. This new surgery isn't cheap.

Liposuction to one area of skin is £2500 ($8462). Pinning your ears back is £2000. Removing the bags under your eyes is £2500 (and the bruising and swelling may not settle down for seven to 10 days).

The big one - the willy operation - is £4000 ($13,535).

A thought struck me.

"You know breast reductions," I said. "How often do you get men coming in and asking for a penis reduction?"

"You're kidding," said Ms Brown.

- INDEPENDENT