$6m to stop divorced parents fighting

Separated parents involved in bitter battles over their children will be offered Government-sponsored lessons on resolving the conflict, for the sake of the children.

The programme, which is to get $6 million from the Government, involves two two-hour sessions in which parents will be educated on how their separation affects their children.

They will be told what they can do to help their children, including limiting conflict, which is recognised as the most harmful to children in separated families. It advises on the Family Court and gives "parenting plans", including how to effectively parent with former partners.

There were 10,600 divorces in 2004 when the divorce rate was 13.2 per 1000 estimated existing marriages. One in three couples separate within the first 20 years of marriage.

The programme was outlined at a two-day Auckland Family Courts Association Conference, "Focusing on Children", which began yesterday.

The programme is based on a programme run on Auckland's North Shore for the past two years, known as "Children in the Middle".

It is geared towards encouraging parents to resolve their issues before the power is taken from them and put into the Family Court's hands.

A component of the programme is a 90-minute video of parents and children talking about their experiences of separation and how they dealt with it, for parents to take home and watch.

Leading US clinical psychologist Dr Joan Kelly, who is a world expert in children's adjustment to separation, told the conference that separation and divorce increased children's risk of psychological, social and emotional problems. She said about 25 per cent of children whose parents were separated were at risk compared with 12 per cent of those from two-parent families.

She said the biggest issue was parents controlling their conflict. Parents needed to learn not to fight in front of their children, to not ask intrusive questions about the other parent and to not demean the other parent.

Dr Fred Seymour, who has been running the North Shore programme, said the goal was to encourage parents to make their children their priority and minimise the impact of their separation on their children.

Single providers will offer the free course along with agencies such as Presbyterian Support, Barnardos and Relationship Services.

Brochures will be sent out and the programme launched by Courts Minister Rick Barker in the next two weeks, Ministry of Justice project manager Brent Williams Williams said.

People interested in the programme will be able to call a Ministry of Social Development phoneline at 0800 211 211 and have their call directed to their nearest provider at no charge. The phone line will be launched at the same time as the programme.