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WARNING: This story deals with suicide and self-harm. Please see below for help and crisis information.
Raiana Boyd spent the first day of May shopping with her aunts. They purchased new outfits and had the best time together.
Raiana was struggling with bullying and had been seeing a counsellor. But no one realised she was in such a dark place.
The schoolgirl’s family has now written an open letter to the Prime Minister and government begging for more help for teens in crisis in a bid to prevent any other families from dealing with the tragic loss of such a young life.
Raina’s aunts spoke to senior reporter Anna Leask and allowed the Herald to publish their letter in full. Scroll down for their powerful and unabridged words.
The beginning of the letter penned by Raiana's aunty Brooke. The full letter is included below. Image / Andrew Louis
Two hours before Raiana’s funeral began, her aunts Brooke and Kylie stepped away to a quiet spot to share her story with the Herald.
It was important to them that the 13-year-old didn’t become an invisible statistic – that the tragedy could be used to create awareness, to effect change, to save other young lives.
“Kylie and I came to spend the day with her. We took her out to lunch. We did a little bit of shopping together, she spent time with her cousin and we dropped her back home,” Brooke said.
“We went home. And then about two hours later, we got a phone call to come back, that she had attempted to end her life and they didn’t know if she would make it.
“I don’t even remember most of that night … everything was pretty much like a blur.”
Kylie said paramedics spent an hour trying to resuscitate Raiana but her injuries were not survivable.
“And we just sat with her until the Coroner came and it was time for her to go.”
By law, the Herald cannot publish further details of Raiana’s injuries.
Her death has been referred to the Coroner as a suspected suicide and a formal ruling on the cause will be made after an investigation is completed.
Raiana Boyd was struggling but her family thought she was doing well after finding a counsellor she liked.
Raiana was found at her Tuakau family home.
Family members said there was no indication she was distressed or in crisis on the day of her death – or in the immediate lead-up to that day. There was nothing out of the ordinary going on, no alarm bells.
Brooke, a mental health nurse, said she had earlier recognised signs of anxiety and depression in Raiana.
Kylie added: “We talked to her about it over Christmas and we asked her outright – did she want to die and she said ‘no’.”
Raiana's aunts, Brooke (pictured left) and Kylie, spoke to her about her mental health at Christmas but did not think she would take fatal action.
When Brooke and Kylie said goodbye to Raiana on May 1, she was being a “typical” teenager, they said.
“When we dropped her off, she kind of wasn’t herself – but we just put it down to the attitude of a preteen,” said Brooke.
“She just got out the car, didn’t say goodbye and Kylie was like, ‘Are you going to come and say goodbye?’ and she came gave a hug reluctantly – but it was normal 13-year-old teenage things.”
Kylie said Raiana went inside and told her family about her day.
“She was showing off the necklace and jumper that we bought her – she went out to her mum about three times saying ‘look at this’.”
Within two hours, her mother was watching as paramedics tried to save Raiana’s life.
The family said they hoped the Coroner’s investigation would provide them with answers but at this stage they could not work out why Raiana chose to die that day, that hour.
Days after Raiana died, Brooke was putting her own daughter to bed and felt compelled to sit down and write a letter to New Zealand’s leaders.
“My emotions were all over the place,” she said.
“I was just so frustrated and so angry that it had come to the point where she took her own life – and so I just sat down and I just started writing.”
She published the open letter to Prime Minister Christopher Luxon, the wider Government and Ministry of Health on her Facebook page, urging people to share it.
Raiana, pictured here when she was younger, was fun-loving, her family said.
“It’s about awareness, it’s so people like Raiana will get the support they need before it’s too late,” Brooke said.
“At the end of the day, we just don’t want any other family to have to go through this.
“And if this helps them to see signs or talk to [their teens] before it’s too late, then I guess that’s Raiana’s legacy … that she’s helped save someone else.”
Brooke’s job as a nurse sees her working on the frontline of mental health – with people in acute crisis needing urgent care and inpatients.
She said she was not sure if she could go back to that job after the death of Raiana.
But she still wanted to help those suffering, by writing the letter and by sharing her family’s grief with the Herald.
“And, for me, personally, I don’t think I’m ever going to get over this,” said Kylie.
Raiana’s family – including mum Tasha, dad Lee and brothers Tana, 18, and Kahu, 12 – farewelled her on Friday, May 10.
Before the service, a group of family members walked to the top of the Tongariro Crossing in Raiana’s memory.
“They took a bunch of coloured balloons because Raiana’s favourite colour was blue and anything rainbow-coloured … and they released the balloons at the top of the crossing for her,” said Kylie.
Raiana was born in Australia but has lived in New Zealand most of her life. She is survived by her mum Tasha, dad Lee and brothers Tane and Kahu.
Raiana’s family hoped her death and their open letter would reach the right people and change would come.
“Mental health and disability in New Zealand needs to be prioritised before more families are in the same position,” said her mum Tasha.
“This should be a priority – not something they can easily cut – because humans are more important than a budget.”
Tasha also wanted more action taken around bullying.
“I believe there needs to be an outside party parents can complain to … I believe there should be a bullying register … so if a name keeps getting mentioned a red flag pops up … they will see a pattern.”
The family knows they may never get the answers they are seeking around Raiana’s death but they want her remembered, and her story to spark important conversations in families, schools, communities and beyond.
“She wanted to be a writer. She was in Australia with us for Christmas and she started writing a book … and kept bringing her laptop out and saying, ‘Aunty Brook, Aunty Kylie come read this’ and ‘Is it good?’,” said Brooke.
“She also loved her drawing. She loved anime, playing video games with friends, and cats.
“She was fun-loving … that perfect mix of girly girl and tomboy.”
A young Raiana with her aunty Kylie - who called her her 'mini me'. Photo / Supplied
The family also wanted young people to be aware of the finality of suicide and the widespread, ripple-effect devastation and hurt it caused.
Many youngsters like Raiana did not understand the full consequences of their actions and the family wanted parents, caregivers and adults to have conversations with their teens and young people.
“Never be afraid to speak to your family,” Brooke implored young people struggling with mental health, bullying and other distress.
“I think the main thing is just to speak out; reach out to someone who you trust, that you feel safe with - just anybody before it’s too late.”
We sat with her, just hours after, her body cold, our beautiful girl, gone forever.
Why you may ask? Well, as her family we will never know.
We will never know what was going through her mind those moments before, the minutes, the hours, the day.
We. Will. Never. Know.
”This support will help children and young people better manage issues such as bullying, loneliness, anxiety at school, or loss or grief,” - this was mentioned by the Government in 2021, when a further 141 schools throughout Aotearoa had counsellors put in.
But three years later, counselling services are still only available in selected regions of Aotearoa.
The Ministry of Education states: “The funding for counselling in schools is available in selected regions and to schools the Ministry considers have the greatest need”.
Do you realise, that not having counselling available to ALL tamariki in Aotearoa’s schools, is setting them up for years of intergenerational trauma, and grief?
Parents will be losing their child/children to suicide like we’ve lost our girl.
Each and every family member will carry the ‘what ifs’, for the rest of their lives.
Anna Leask is a Christchurch-based reporter who covers national crime and justice. She joined the Herald in 2008 and has worked as a journalist for 18 years. She writes, hosts and produces the award-winning podcast A Moment In Crime, released monthly on nzherald.co.nz
