Davis refers to a Jekyll and Hyde scenario where people act one way at work or in the community and another way at home.
Physical violence is a very small part. Family violence is about power and control and happens in a cycle, she says.
“That cycle gets shorter and shorter, and the violence escalates. So it might start out at the beginning with some controlling behaviours. You can see this person, you can’t see that person. You can’t go out. And then that will escalate over time, usually to physical violence.”
Some of the tactics they see “are women not being allowed to work, being given an allowance, not having any idea what’s in their own bank accounts, not knowing the status of the mortgage”.
Te Manawa Family Services gets court referrals and self-referrals. Half of the men attending programmes hear about them through other agencies or friends and family, Davis says.
It runs separate living free from violence programmes for men and women.
The 20-week course is constantly being delivered, and the modules can be done in any order, so there are no waiting lists.
The Family Whānau Support Service offers a range of one-on-one support “which can be whatever that person needs … sometimes people need some practical help as well, so getting on benefits”.
Te Manawa Family Services also offers a opular and innovative 15-week youth and parenting programme, Davis says.
“The kids that we work with are the ones who have witnessed violence or had some kind of trauma experience with family violence, who are now acting out at school or at home.”
There is a safety series for victims of violence, including a separate child safety programme.
It is run a bit differently from other services, as staff like to work with the kids in the home with the safe parent present.
“It’s about reconnecting that child to the safe parent, because when violence has happened that undermines the parenting of the victim and their ability to parent,” Davis says.
The service had a big spike in people seeking help after the first Covid-19 lockdown.
Overall though, Davis thinks there is no more violence than there used to be.
“I think we’re just getting better at identifying it, and knowing pathways for help and change.”
May was a fairly normal month for Te Manawa Family Services, with 378 people enrolling in programmes.
There are 17 staff working across the Palmerston North and Feilding offices. They are funded by the Ministry of Justice and other government departments, Manawatū District Council, Palmerston North City Council and through grants.
All programmes are free.
- To access the service, complete the online referral form or phone the Palmerston North office on 027 323 8332 or Feilding on 027 323 7330.
This profile of a Te Pū Harakeke - Community Collective Manawatū member organisation is part of an occasional series.
Sonya Holm is a freelance journalist based in Palmerston North.
