Jono Naylor has been in the public eye since 2001. "I was harsh on myself for being unwell because I thought I had no excuse." Photo / Judith Lacy
Jono Naylor has been in the public eye since 2001. "I was harsh on myself for being unwell because I thought I had no excuse." Photo / Judith Lacy
Content warning: This story discusses suicidal thoughts and may be distressing for some readers.
At his “joking best” Jono Naylor describes his term in Parliament in thirds.
The first year he was trying to understand how it worked, the second year he was depressed and in the third year he was on antidepressants.
Behind this self-described attempt at light-hearted deflection, the former mental health professional now recognises when the black dog came nipping he didn’t seek help straight away.
He has a Bachelor of Social Work (Honours) from Massey University and has held a range of social work roles.
After being elected a National list MP based in Palmerston North in 2014 Naylor realised he was not cut out for party politics. In 2017 he didn’t seek re-election.
“That was a really, really hard thing to do because there have been fewer members of Parliament in New Zealand than there have been All Blacks. So you don’t just blow off the opportunity of doing something like that for no good reason.”
He realised he was not just being judged or perceived on his own merits but by the actions of people he now associated with. This was “a funny space to occupy if you haven’t been ideologically linked previously”.
He was “quite unwell” and in a “pretty negative headspace”.
“I would never say I was actively suicidal but I had some pretty dark moments.”
One of his sons asked how bad it got. Naylor replied that when he was contemplating ways to potentially end his life he could think of ways that wouldn’t cause him pain but could never think of a way that wouldn’t cause his family pain.
The husband, son, father of three and now grandfather of three is grateful he has always been careful to ensure his identity is not tied up in what he does. That his identity was – and still is - anchored in the important relationships in his life helped him get past some of the most miserable times.
Naylor has been in the public eye since 2001 when he was elected to the Palmerston North City Council. In 2007 he was elected mayor, serving until he entered national politics in 2014. Since 2018 he has been a regional councillor and is the deputy chairman of Horizons Regional Council.
Naylor delayed seeking help for his depression. “Because I’m a middle-class, middle-aged white guy with a secure job and a good family and all that sort of stuff, what’s my excuse for being depressed? And so I didn’t give myself permission to actually be unwell and, in fact, the internal dialogue makes you feel even worse for feeling unwell because you tell yourself you have got no right to feel unwell.”
Jono Naylor delayed seeking help for his depression as he would not give himself permission to be unwell. Photo / Peter McDermott
New Zealand society is more accepting of people with mental health issues, but there is still work to do.
“I often say to people if you think you are not judgmental about people with mental health issues try having a mental health issue yourself and see how judgmental you are of yourself.”
He became quite paralysed by simple administration tasks like replying to an email and it wasn’t until he got to the point where he thought maybe it would just be easier to not be around that he was awakened to it.
Naylor has been asked if he became depressed because Parliament was a pressured or toxic environment.
“The stuff that would stress most people out was still easy to me [such as public speaking] but because my brain was processing things in an unhealthy way I started to get a bit paralysed.”
He managed to shine in TV show 7 Days’ Yes Minister segment giving witty answers without saying yes or no for nearly two minutes.
The 56-year-old has learned to give himself permission to have a bad day.
His mental health is now mostly pretty good though he does sometimes have anxiety attacks. He thinks they are mostly a post-traumatic response to the major vertigo he had two years ago.
Driving to Wellington, he felt unwell and end up lying on the floor of a supermarket
“I couldn’t describe how I was feeling, I had no words to describe it and then all of a sudden I was nauseated so someone was passing me a bucket. I’m just lying on the floor of the supermarket throwing up, little to no control of it.”
Safe to talk (sexual harm): Call 0800 044 334 or text 4334
All services are free and available 24/7 unless otherwise specified.
For more information and support, talk to your local doctor, hauora, community mental health team or counselling service. The Mental Health Foundation has more helplines and service contacts on its website.
