Judith Lacy's Jottings: A new perspective on St Valentine's Day

What does Whaiwhakaaroaro Bronze Thinker think about Valentine's Day?

This morning Instagram told me "blocking happy couples on Valentine's Day is self-care". I follow an account that starts with a four-letter word we won't be using here and ends in ology.

A friend put me on to it and I enjoy the way some of the posts challenge my thinking.

So, yes, it's the big day on Sunday – flowers, chocolates, cards, hearts, grand gestures. And for those without a valentine? Maybe we take the day and turn it into whatever we want.

I'm going to turn it into my love for my friends and for my city. My friends are pretty much my world. I have the best friends in the world. There's the one who regularly checks that I'm okay and is always looking out for me. She gets the fun jobs like holding my hand during medical procedures and cooks me the most amazing healthy meals.

There's the friend who always believes in me, doesn't bat an eyelid whatever I say and sends me flowers just because.

There's the friend who answers my random questions with aplomb, gives me sound advice and is happy to wield a crescent spanner to make my life easier.

I could go on and on. I've come to realise that just like romantic relationships people have different ideas of friendships.

A friend from high school cannot stand the words slacks and frocks. I'm not sure why but just like nails down a blackboard or a radio off frequency the words trigger a most unpleasant reaction in her. Moist is another word that some people are adverse to.

For me it's "must catch up soon". For me friendships are just like relationships – hard yakka. You need to make an effort, organise catch-ups, suggest outings, check in with them.

But, that's just my perspective.

And how does this tie in with Palmy? Well, I'm the proud owner of not one, but two, I Love Palmy badges. The clasp on one is broken, but I'm not chucking it out. What do you love most about Palmy?

This is from James Brown's poem I Come from Palmerston North.

"We are a modest people,
but we are fiercely proud of the bustling, go-ahead city
at the heart of the Manawatū Plains."

Too right. So to George St I give chocolate hearts, to Broadway Ave sunflowers, to The Square a card, to the Esplanade perfume and to He Ara Kotahi, a necklace.

Apparently St John is the patron saint of friendships, so happy St John's Day on Sunday.

And to my friends, tēnā koutou.

+ Judith Lacy is editor of the Manawatū Guardian.